From Fluffy to Fit

Tiny Changes

2012-02-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading my blog lately, I have been posting up a lot of information around different health and wellness topics - nutrition, exercise, environment, even gardening.

If you're just starting down the health and wellness road, interested in making lifestyle changes but not sure where to start, all of this information can be overwhelming. Where to begin? With exercise? What kind of exercise? Should you begin with a "diet"? What sort of diet? How long should you do this diet and exercise?

The main reason I became interested in health and wellness as a career is because I had these same questions, and I did so much research, and the more research I did and the more I listened to other people's opinions of what being "healthy" meant, the more frustrated I became.

Certainly, becoming educated in these areas is probably the best way to clear up any confusion. But not everyone wants to make wellness their career option - nor does everyone have the time and inclination to take exercise and nutrition courses.

So here, then, is my suggestion on how to get started: make tiny changes.

Pick one or two nutritional pitfalls that you know without a doubt are "bad" habits. Replace some nutrition-less junk food with fruit. Add an additional vegetable to your meals. At the same time, make a commitment to take a walk for 20 minutes a day three, four, five days per week.

Eat sweet potatoes vs. "white" potatoes

Don't worry about making some huge shift in the way you eat, grocery shop, and prepare meals. Don't stress over joining a gym or purchasing equipment to build your home gym (that you prob won't use anyway).

Make some small changes in your life, stick with them - and be consistent.

Hopefully within four weeks, you will see a noticeable difference in your body and your energy levels. And when you see that making some tiny little changes affects your well being, hopefully you will be encouraged to make some more tiny changes.

The idea is that these changes build upon each other and your health and fitness levels improve gradually, over time, and without putting the stress of a total life makeover on your shoulders. And finally, the changes should be sustainable over time - not some fad or quick-fix, so to start with choose the types of food and exercise that you know you enjoy.

Add a 20-minute walk to your day

If you get to a point where you feel like you've made all of the small changes you can think of - and you're ready for more intensity, that's where someone like me comes in. You can reach out to someone that you trust and who actually has gone through the educational training in these areas and is qualified to walk you through achieving a healthier, and fitter lifestyle.

Okay, that was a little shameless self-promotion, but the sentiment is genuine. You don't need a personal trainer or nutritionist to make small changes in your life that will add up to major benefits. You just need the desire to make a change, and a little nudge of motivation to get the ball rolling towards a healthier and more active future.

Preserve History And Eat It Too: Heirloom Seeds

2012-02-06T12:27:00.000-08:00

Vibrant Swiss Chard

I have no idea how to garden. Last year was my first attempt and it was a dismal failure. My raised bed garden yielded a few stunted carrots, a sad miniature tomato and one tiny little pepper. The cucumbers rotted half formed on the vine and the spinach sprouted a few half-hearted attempts at leaves then promptly died. I even planted some flowers in the flower bed that never ever even thought of flowering. My only successes were the herb pots (herbs being basically weeds, I'm not entirely proud of this accomplishment). However, I just found out what "bolting" means, and that when my herbs do this, it's bad.

Nonetheless, I have learned some things since then and I'm ready to plant again this spring. This time, I'm using organic soil, compost, and pest control. We've also cut down a few trees in our extremely wooded yard since last spring - turns out plants need sun. Who knew?

I'm also going to use heirloom seeds instead of these one-sprout agri-business generated seeds that you buy at Wal-Mart or Lowe's. The GMO seeds that are the very heart of everything in my dietetic life that I'm working so hard to change.

A friend of mine taught me about heirloom seeds - what they are, why they're important, and why I should be using them in my garden.

The heirloom seed is best explained by the non-profit site, Seed Savers Exchange:

What are Heirlooms? Seed Savers Exchange defines an heirloom as any garden plant that has a history of being passed down within a family, just like pieces of heirloom jewelry or furniture. Some companies have tried to create definitions based on date, such as anything older than 50 years.

The genetic diversity of the world's food crops is eroding at an unprecedented and accelerating rate. The vegetables and fruits currently being lost are the result of thousands of years of adaptation and selection in diverse ecological niches around the world. Each variety is genetically unique and has developed resistance to the diseases and pests with which it evolved. Plant breeders use the old varieties to breed resistance into modern crops that are constantly being attacked by rapidly evolving diseases and pests. Without these infusions of genetic diversity, food production is at risk from epidemics and infestations.

Just how dangerous is genetic erosion? The late Jack Harlan, world renowned plant collector who wrote the classic "Crops and Man" while Professor of Plant Genetics at University of Illinois at Urbana, has written: "These resources stand between us and catastrophic starvation on a scale we cannot imagine. In a very real sense, the future of the human race rides on these materials. The line between abundance and disaster is becoming thinner and thinner, and the public is unaware and unconcerned. Must we wait for disaster to be real before we are heard? Will people listen only after it is too late."

Basically our food supply could conceivably be destroyed in a few fell swoops. Not that I'm trying to be all gloom and doom, I just think that it's important to preserve what we can for posterity.

The beautiful Hillbilly Potato Leaf tomato

Did you know that there are thousands of varieties of tomatoes? Chances are that beyond the five or six varieties that are sold at the grocery stores, you haven't seen very many. I know I haven't. That's a problem, I think.

So I'll huddle with the fam and we'll decide as a group what to plant - so that everyone has a stake (not steak) and will be more apt to eat the fruits of our labors (hopefully there are fruits this time). This will be not only a rewarding endeavor but a cost effective one. Have you seen the price of bell peppers lately? And for sure since we're eating only organic and natural our grocery bill is quite high. I hope that planting a garden will be a nice addition to our CSA share this year.

I encourage everyone to do their own research - to borrow a line... the truth is out there!

What if everything you knew about nutrition was wrong?

2012-01-31T12:52:00.000-08:00

In 2010, nutrition was a $270+ Billion global industry. Andmost of that money was made in the US. When anything is a behemoth of thatproportion, it’s going to be difficult to quickly stop its momentum – whetherwe’re talking about a zooming rocket, a cruise ship or the foundation of agargantuan institution.

What happens when the very science that fueled that industrycomes back decades later with different and contradictory results? The answeris nothing. Nothing happens… at least not at first, and not at all quickly.

Since the 70’s, the industry and the government have builtthe Food Guide Pyramid with a foundation of carbs – “grains”. Fats havebecome dietetic lepers, and don’t even get me started on the introduction of the biggest(unwilling/unwitting – and failing, mind you) human experiment in the historyof man – GMOs (Genetically Modified Organisms).

So my point – I propose that almost everything you knowabout nutrition is wrong. If you buy low-fat, no-fat processed “diet” foods andsubscribe to crash diets, your information is wrong. I don’t blame you. I blamethe people who profit from keeping information from those who need it the most.In case you’re not convinced, please recall that the government has sincemodified its famed Food Guide Pyramid in what I consider a reluctant move tocorrect it’s course (due to pressures from a profession of people who know andcare).

If you take a nutritional education course now, the information presented in this little video below is exactly what you will learn - as educational institutions usually dig teaching the latest and greatest, as a whole. And really, learning about nutrition and becoming educated in this area has changed my life. Literally.

A co-worker sent me a link to this awesomevideo that gives you a crash course in our collective nutritionalwrong-mindedness. Please take five minutes and watch this video (send the linkto your home email, of course!). At the end, they’re trying to sell you onIsabel’s brand of diet (which, honestly, isn’t such a bad thing), but feel freeto stop watching at that point. The information presented is sound andup-to-date. It’s the latest that nutritional science has to offer on how ourbodies work with our foods. The craziest thing? Science is discovering thatnature had it right all along – and most of what they’re finding is good forour bodies… is the natural foods, in their natural states, that nature alreadyknew we needed.

Video:

http://www.thedietsolutionprogram.com/burnfatjw.aspx

Great Men’s Health article:

http://www.menshealth.com/weight-loss/diet-strategies-energy-balance-and-weight-loss(relevant to women too)

NY Times article, “What if It’s All Been a Big Fat Lie?”:

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/07/07/magazine/what-if-it-s-all-been-a-big-fat-lie.html?pagewanted=6&src=pm

Wishingyou all many years of health and happines!

Quinoa - The Amazing Superfood!

2012-01-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

So many uses of quinoa

Okay, Nutrition 101: fat is not bad, carbs are not bad, protein is not bad, calories are not bad.

Excess is bad. Even excess of good things. Too much of a good thing? You betcha.

I just wanted to preface this post with those statements because I feel like anytime I talk about a food that either contains fats (good fats) or carbs, I can feel calorie-counting people cringing mentally.

Enter quinoa - a superfood containing fat, carbs, and protein... and a whole lot of good for you!

Quinoa is a grain-type food that acts like grains but is actually a member of the grass family. It's closer related to beets and spinach than wheat and oats and such. It's translucent in appearance and pods are small and fluffy when cooked - consistency similar to couscous.

Quinoa Plants

Quinoa originated in ancient South America and was a staple in the Inca diet. That is, until the Spanish Conquistadors came in knocking heads around and banned it's cultivation because of it's role in non-Christian, pagan rituals. The Incas were then forced to grow wheat instead.

What is so great about Quinoa? Lots of things. For one, it's extremely nutrient-dense. It's one of the highest protein foods in the plant kingdom. Just one cup of prepared quinoa contains about 6g of protein. In addition to the high protein amount, it also contains a balanced set of amino acids which means it's a complete protein source (which is unusual for plant foods). In other words, if you're a vegetarian, or have been thinking about becoming a vegetarian, this is a fantastic plant-based protein source for you. Quinoa is also a good source of dietary fiber, phosphorus, magnesium, and iron. It's GLUTEN-FREE and has many multiple cooking and food prep uses.

You can use quinoa as a replacement to all of your rice dishes. It's easily prepared using the same proportions/cooking times as rice. Add veggies to create a nice pilaf. It can be eaten cold (as in a salad) or hot, and can even be used as a breakfast food, adding things like honey, fruits, nuts, etc.

A great way to enjoy stuffed peppers, curries, your stir-fry base, Mexican foods, rice(quinoa) n' beans, a side dish, a cold salad, breakfast - you can even germinate the pods for 12 hours in a glass of water and use them as a salad topper.

Just make sure, as with anything, that you practice portion control and moderation. Remember to always choose nutrient-dense foods like this over empty foods that will make you feel full for 15 minutes and then ravenous again in an hour.

I was able to convert my picky and omnivorous family from rice to quinoa - give it a try, yours might surprise you!

GMOs - What's the Big Deal?

2012-01-16T18:36:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but I find that being a consumer of food is complicated business these days. All I want to do is treat my body well and feed my family healthful and nutritious foods and I'm so frustrated at how difficult it is to make the right choices. You practically have to be a nutritionist to understand how to do it. Well, I'm not a dietitian or anything, but I have done a lot of homework.

I've read books like Michael Pollen's, The Ominivore's Delimma and watched the Food, Inc. documentary. I have a group of friends and acquaintances who are nutritionists, naturalists, and concerned consumers who regularly share information on the Farm to Table movement and the battle that the government wages against small farmers and their local consumers. I've learned about Monsanto (insert evil angry image here) and big agribusiness' slow takeover and subsequent destruction of the world as we know it.

Not to mention I'm working on my ISSA Specialist in Fitness Nutrition Certification and my degree in Sports Sciences. So I guess, I kind of am working towards that nutritionist/dietitian status. Just so I can feel good about my grocery shopping (okay, maybe not JUST that).

So when starting a conversation about GMOs, I really prefer to start with the big picture. GMO stands for genetically modified organism and refers to produce and now even animals (salmon) whose DNA has been scientifically manipulated -- mostly for reasons of increased profit margins.

Crops can be modified to withstand pestilence, disease, and pests - so that the fields can be sprayed with pesticides that kill everything but the produce. The downsides:

The toxins get into the foods as they're growing; you can't wash them off
Weeds, pests, and microbes mutate to become resistant to the toxins - which means more toxins and stronger toxins have to be used
GMO foods and animals invade and mingle with the non-GMO foods - we're in danger of losing food diversity
Crops aren't rotated which means nutrients are depleted in the soil and not naturally replenished; our foods are no longer as nutritious as they used to be, and less and less so with time

So why are GMO products used if there exist such risks? First, GMOs are banned or are in the process of being banned in 30 countries, including France, Ireland, and Hungary. But there are still many people (mostly in capitalistic countries, not to mention names, USA) who tout the benefits:

Larger produce
More vibrantly colored produce
Pest/disease/bacteria-resistant crops
Animals that are ready for slaughter in half normal growth time

Fiscally compelling reasons, no?

But these modifications are really dangerously jacking with nature. Problems with GMOs (besides the ones I listed above include:

Allergic reactions
Antibiotic resistance
Too much growth hormone
And whatever other long term effects pop up

What can you do? You can choose USDA Certified Organic produce and minimally processed foods. These are more money at your grocery store, but every time you buy USDA Organic, you're essentially voting with your dollars.

Or if possible, and my favorite, buy from your local farmers (after doing some research on their methods). You can join a Community Supported Agriculture - where you buy "stock" in a local farm and in exchange for your monetary support, you get a share of the farm bounty each week during the growing season. This is a very cost effective way of feeding your family well, supporting your community, and making a statement about your ethics.

But don't take my word for it. Do your own research.

More info about organic food consumption here:

http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_11361.cfm

Find a local farm/CSA near you:

http://www.localharvest.org/

A guide for every person who wants to know how to shop well:
http://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Kitchen-Protect-Improve-Deliciously/dp/0307461408

Be healthy and live well, friends!

Loving My Group Workouts

2012-01-04T13:52:00.000-08:00

Les Mills BodyPump is a blast

Even though my work has moved locations into Office Park Hell and I've lost my little free and uber convenient corporate gym in the building, there is one upside. Which is double-edged. I've been forced to join the YMCA (which I love, btw).

Double-edged because membership isn't cheap. It's certainly a lot more than my free gym. But the amenities are incomparable.

The main reason I decided to join the Y instead of a smaller gym nearby is for the group workouts. I love taking classes! There's a Y by my work, and one by my house, the Y has classes all day so I can just workout my butt off whenever I want! I love this!

I've tried so many new things since I joined a month or so ago: yoga, Pilates, tai chi, and Zumba to name a few. Not that I'm new to Zumba, but it's been a while. I've also become reacquainted with my friends, spin and BodyPump.

For now, classes are my thing. I get every kind of workout I need throughout the week via classes. My schedule looks something like this:

Monday: 530am spin, noon Bodypump
Tuesday: noon yoga/Pilates/sculpt Fusion
Wednesday: 530am spin, noon Bodypump
Thursday: noon yoga/Pilates/sculpt Fusion
Friday: 530am spin
Saturday: BodyFlow, BodyPump (and if I have a ton of free time, spin and/or Zumba)
Sunday: rest

With this schedule I get cardio, stretching, strength training, fun/dance, and meditation.

I also plan on supplementing with heavier weights training and tai chi and Qigong videos at home. For Christmas I got many elements I'll need to start up my business including a portable weight bench, portable weights, and a fantastic reference book on designing strength training programs. ( <3 )

Possibly at some point this rigorous schedule will become hard to maintain, or else I may burn out on classes. But for now, since I'm not training for any running races and it's too cold (I'm a wuss when it comes to cold weather training) for biking, this is my poison.

This is a great routine for anyone who likes group workout classes and who belongs to (or is thinking of joining) a gym. Taking a combination of strength/resistance training, cardio, and stretching classes will give you a full spectrum workout. But don't feel like you have to overwhelm your schedule with classes like I'm attempting to do.

That's just nuts.

The Inevitable, Daunting, and Flighty New Year's Resolution

2012-01-01T16:46:00.000-08:00

I think it's worth noting that the new year is always represented by a baby. A baby. The very incarnation of pureness, newness, sweetness: innocence.

There's no doubt that the new year is just that: a NEW year. The possibilities for the year are literally limitless. I guess I just have a problem with the idea that a new year is synonymous with a "clean slate". That insinuates that we enter into January 1 as white and innocent as a newborn babe.

I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer, but I rather think the new year is like a baby... with a loaded diaper. No one (except for the newborn babe) goes into a new year without baggage from the last - a poopy diaper, if you will. We all bring with us irrational expectations, extra poundage in the derrier, and riding in on the emotional crazy train (to varying degrees).

My point?

There are several. While you're typing out, writing down, or sealing in an envelope to be opened next December your New Year's resolutions for 2012, be real.

Goals are imperative to success.

Let me repeat that: GOALS ARE IMPERATIVE TO SUCCESS.

But if you go home and watch television for five hours a day every weekday and 12 hours a day on the weekends for the past ten years - don't expect to run a marathon in six months. Keep it real - a better goal in that situation would be: walk for 20 minutes every day, to run/walk a 5k in 35 minutes by July.

Point number 1: set realistic goals.

My second point: Maintain the willpower to follow through.

It's a testament to character, the person who carriers out their plans and follows through on their word. It signifies honor, integrity, and an inner strength. I'm not going to step onto my soap box, that's all I'm going to say about that, but I felt it was worth mentioning.

So on this first day of January, day one of a year full of potential and promise and the excitement of not knowing what tomorrow holds, as you consider all of the wonderful accomplishments that are just hanging there like fruit on heavy laden branches - remember to create realistic goals. People who create goals are ten times more likely to accomplish their desire ("lose weight" is not a real goal; instead say "I will lose two pounds a week until I reach 150 lbs) than someone who does not work towards a tangible goal.

Congratulations on concluding another successful year of life, and may we all have many more successful ones - however we define success.

Happy 2012!!

The Beauty, Grace, and Importance of Flow Workouts: Yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi

2011-12-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

Take advice from Buddha - relax

When we think about the word "fitness" many different things come to the mind: running, biking, swimming, aerobics, weight-lifting, eating well... to name a few.

But how about this one: flexibility.

Flexibility is an oft-overlooked component of fitness. Indeed if you're just starting out down the fitness road, it's easy to become overwhelmed with all of the stuff you're "supposed" to do - not to mention the longer list of stuff you're NOT supposed to do.

However, stretching is extremely important to your overall fitness. Like many components of fitness, it becomes even more important as you get older.

Stretching helps keep your muscles limber so that when you're exercising, or just living life (lifting boxes, walking around the mall) you don't tear, rip, or strain anything. Staying flexible improves your posture. Good posture is also underrated. Poor posture is the culprit of many people's backaches and muscles pains. To test your posture, stand with the backs of your heels, thighs, butt, shoulderblades and head to a wall. Do you have to push any of your body parts back or forwards, or adjust to get flat against the wall? Chances are that you have a postural deviation. If you suspect that you have a postural deviation (over 97% of adults do) check out this site. Once you identify your deviation, you can Google exercises to correct it. I promise you, once you correct this problem, your backaches will subside dramatically!

The best ways to improve and sustain your flexibility is through yoga or pilates. I recommend doing this at least three times per week. If you belong to a gym that offers classes, take them! If you don't have a gym membership, you can get a DVD for about $10. There are so many to choose from, but don't be daunted by the variety. Choose one and do it. Do it in the morning before work, throughout the day, or after work. Many DVDs contain AM/PM yoga routines.

One of my favorite classes is BodyFlow, a Les Mills group workout creation. BodyFlow is a beautiful and relaxing fusion of yoga, pilates, and tai chi. The focus is on flow, flexibility, core strength, and meditation. I highly recommend this as a regular part of your daily life.

Tai Chi is a Chinese martial art, primarily practiced for its health benefits. Its a beautiful flowing art that promotes peacefulness and meditation. If this sounds too new-agey for you, consider the benefit of adding an outlet to your daily life to relieve stress, improve your emotional health through meditation, and focus your mind for sports, business, learning, or whatever type of focus you need to bring to your life. As with yoga, there are many DVD's available that teach you tai chi from beginner's all the way through advanced technique. Again, pick one, go with it.

When you start working out, you body needs days of rest. Doing a yoga or tai chi routine is a great way to stay moving but still give your body the rest it needs. I highly recommend waking up even 30 minutes early before the rest of the house is up and moving and the frenetic rush of your day begins.

Remember - if you don't take care of yourself first, you can't be the best example to your family and those around you.

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.

~Buddha

In Case of Emergency Put On Your Own Mask First

2011-12-13T08:20:00.000-08:00

Your kids are parrots. Surely you've noticed this by now? Kids hear everything; granted, it seems their listening skills are limited to selectivity. Especially when you're telling them to finish their homework, clean their room, or NO they can't have a cookie before dinner.

They're sponges. Children are sticky, noisy bundles of learning potential. And like it or not, you are their most influential teachers, as their parents. They may not pick it up when you're lecturing to them about the merits of being a leader (instead of making fun of that kid at school when everyone is too), but I promise you they'll pick it up from you while you're demonstrating the *act* of leading -- or worse, they'll pick up when you're NOT being a leader. For children, your actions speak louder to their active brains than all of the orating you could possibly muster.

So, while it's unbelievably important to teach your kids about proper exercise and nutrition, if you're at home serving them fried chicken and mashed potatoes smothered in gravy while watching the American average of five hours of television per day... well, need I say more?

It's like the Aesop's Fable about the crab mother who tells her son to walk forward in a straight line... while she scuttles away in that little sideways job that crabs have.

Lecture your kids all you want, but it's all hot air if you're not living the way you want them to live.

You love your children, that is never a question. But if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not providing a good example to them. On top of that, if you're not healthy, you could be limiting your time left on earth with your family - and certainly if you're not healthy you don't have the adequate energy and health levels to enjoy your time with them to the fullest. Can you run and bike and chase after your children? Can you swim with them in the pool, show them how to do laps, a swan dive, a backflip?

When you're on a plane, the stewardesses always demonstrate how to put on an Oxygen mask if they fall from the ceiling. Uniformly, any airline that you're on, they tell you to put your own mask on before trying to put on your children's, or someone else who may be incapable of putting on their own mask.

Bottom line: you have to take care of yourself before you can provide for everyone else.

Think about that when you're planning your grocery shopping and what the family is going to do after school, work, and dinner.

The First of Seven Habits

2011-12-05T08:35:00.001-08:00

I'm trying to be more purposeful with my time. I have goals, and I need to fulfill them by deadline. I've also recently been extra motivated by depressing circumstances in my current job.

Classes for my Associates in Exercise Science degree don't start until January - and I know myself. If I start a novel now, I'll be consumed by it until I finally finish it. Even if I don't finish by January, I'll keep reading and ignore my studies. So instead I've picked up some essential classics in reading, like How To Win Friends and Influence People, and most recently, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Books like these, frankly, are filled with a lot of common sense advice. You might read some of it and think to yourself: really - people need to be told this from a book? But truthfully, though much of the information is common sense, these books serve two purposes, that I can see:
1. They serve to call out the obvious factors that we tend to overlook or minimalize in our own lives and
2. they serve to remind us that often our instincts are correct - reminding us to sift through life's chaff to focus on the wheat.

The first three habits of highly effective people involve moving from interdependence to independence. I've only gotten as far as the first habit which is the habit of Proactivity. As I was reading examples put forth from the author I thought: cool, I've got this one.

But the opposite of being proactive is being REactive. The sign of a proactive person is one who has mastered their emotions; rather than allowing their emotions to dictate their lives, the proactive person will act despite their emotions.

At that moment, I thought of how I always have a habit of letting the stress of my work life dictate how I live my personal life. Even up to recently, stress has caused me to abandon my nutritional and exercise discipline, and my goals have fallen by the wayside. Always I blame stress. However, my boyfriend, Tom, works for the same company and has been enduring the same types of conditions, experiencing the same stressful situations. But instead of succumbing to the folly of allowing stress to dictate his goals, he has stuck with his very stringent training program for the upcoming full marathon that he has decided to run. Despite of - or perhaps in spite of - the potentially draining working day sapping his desire, energy, and will, he gets up at 6 am on the weekends, and ties on his running shoes on rainy days and completes his mileage - happily.

As I reflected on proactivity versus reactivity and considered Tom's mature way of dealing with stressors, I became inspired and determined to stop allowing my work and emotions to determine my success. Though I may not be able to ultimately change the factors at work causing my stress (though I can choose a new place of work, sure) I am ultimately responsible for my response to those factors. And I refuse to allow something like a place of employment to dictate my values.

This has been very liberating and inspirational. I can't wait to finish the book!

The Newest Certified Personal Trainer: Me!

2011-11-29T14:20:00.001-08:00

That's right, folks - You're now reading the blog of a personal trainer who has been trained and tested by a nationally accredited body. Yay!

This is my first step towards attaining freedom. Freedom is, at the end of the day, my ultimate goal. Freedom from hours spent sitting on my butt in a small cave with malnourishing false light ruining my eyes and my brain - doing work for someone else's benefit that means nothing to me. Making no difference in the world - merely existing to bring home a paycheck. This is no way to live!

I intend to live MY life on MY terms. I will be useful to my community and society.

I start classes in January to earn my Associates in Exercise Science. Just the beginning of a lifetime of learning how to improve my life, and help others live their lives to their fullest.

New year - new start!

Here's How I Finally Beat PMS

2011-11-13T18:32:00.001-08:00

I'm going to get a little personal with you, here. Fair warning.

Womanhood has wreaked havoc with my body and emotions since I started menstruating at 12 years old. It was hard on me right out of the gate: horrible, debilitating cramping; breast tenderness; lower back pain; fatigue; absent-mindedness; clumsiness; insatiable appetite; cravings; and perhaps worst of all, the emotional roller coaster that I can attribute at least 85% of my bad life decision-making to. Relationships have been ruined because of my erratic, irrational behavior during these times.

My supplementation routine

Am I exaggerating? Not a bit.

My life literally comes to a grinding halt for two weeks per month; that's half of a year - that's half of my life disrupted and sometimes ruined because my hormones take over my body like some sort of evil puppetmaster out to destroy my credibility and sanity.

I have been on about every sort of birth control you can imagine, because doctors told me that this is how I could get a grip on symptoms. Though many helped the symptoms to a degree, they weren't without their own side effects: mostly weight gain due to a near constantly insatiable appetite. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to eat and eat and eat and never feeling satisfied? That's what birth control did for me. But it made my periods less severe and cut down the symptoms of PMS to only a few mild ones.

Eventually I stopped taking even birth control. I hated the way it made me feel, and hated that I couldn't lose weight, so then I just had to deal with the PMS.

Men - they don't understand PMS. To them it's a punchline; a comedic way to deal with what they perceive as women's inconsistencies and inexplicable emotional tendencies.

But for women who truly suffer - PMS is a very real nightmare. And there's nothing funny about it.

However, thanks to my fitness studies, I've discovered the benefits of nutrition and supplements. After reading about some natural ways to deal with PMS, I decided to do my own research. I won't bore you with all of the details, but what I learned I put into practice immediately.

It's been three weeks since I started my supplementation routine and I have just finished a completely symptom-free PMS! Not only that, but I've run two races (back to back weekends) successfully! I can't possibly tell you what a "miracle" this is for me - I don't think I can adequately describe how this will change my life. I'm no longer going to have to plan my life around my cycles; that freedom is priceless!

Previously, I would take St. John's Wort and Ibuprofen whenever I felt symptoms coming on; but St. John's Wort has to be taken three times a day for maximum effectiveness, and even then that only helps my mood, none of the other symptoms. Ibuprofen eventually destroys your liver.

After doing my research, I decided on the following supplementation:

1. Multivitamin (Miracle 2000 liquid vitamin because multivitamin pills make me puke)

2. Calcium/Magnesium supplement (my multivitamin didn't contain enough)

3. Vitamin D

4. Vitex agnus castus (berry)

5. Fish oil (Omega3s to help with inflammation in my runner's knee condition)

Through my research, I learned that many PMS symptoms are believed to be caused by vitamin/mineral deficiencies in a woman's body. That's why I decided first to start taking a multivitamin. I also read that Magnesium has been shown to reduce bloating and water retention. Calcium and Vitamin D were recommended to be taken together, as Vitamin D helps the blood to absorb Calcium (and most people experience chronic Vitamin D depletion anyway, especially office dwellers). It's unknown exactly why Calcium improves PMS symptoms, but its assumed to be linked to women's estrogen levels. Either way, studies have proven that Calcium intake does improve symptoms over a placebo. Finally, at the recommendation of the woman at the Vitamin Shoppe, I decided to give the Vitex agnus castus (aka chaste tree berry) a try. I was going to look for some other herbs like black cohosh, but this nice lady told me about the chaste berry. Chaste tree berry is an African plant that works to level women's hormones: whether hormones are out of whack from PMS or menopause (as was her case). She advised me not to bother with the black cohosh.

Now - am I recommending that you take a little of everything like I did? No, I'm not. Definitely not without talking to a doctor and especially if you're taking other medications or have health issues.

I am, however, encouraging you - if you suffer like I did - to explore the possibility that your body may be lacking in some nutritional ways. At the very least, I urge everyone to take a multivitamin. As for the rest, do your own research. The Internet puts the world's information at your finger tips - use it!

I used to think that I could get all of the good stuff I needed out of the foods I eat. But the sad truth is that today, most Americans' diets are not diverse enough to get all of the required nutrition just from foods. And even if your diet was diverse enough, chances are high that because of mineral depletion in farm soil (cash cropping) your foods aren't as nutritious as they should be.

Sad but true. Any way you look at it, the more information you have, the more informed your choices!

Win/Win.

Run Eat Sleep? Repeat: RAGNAR 2011

2011-11-07T14:47:00.000-08:00

The Roadkill Surfer Girls! Cheryl, Jenny, April

By now if we're Facebook friends, you're probably sick of my Ragnar updates. This year, the team used the heck out of social media; we kept friends and each other (in different vans) updated using Twitter and posting pics on Facebook. So here's my Ragnar blog post! :)

In case you have NO idea what a RAGNAR is and why I'm so excited about it, you can read my blog post from last year.

This year, team Roadkill Surfers were Ragnar veterans! We had our stuff together. We knew what to do, what to bring, how to plan - and how to have fun.

And it was so much fun!! This year's team featured THREE girls! I was so excited to hear that I wouldn't be alone floating on a sea of stinking testosterone, no one to sympathize with the particularly female trials and tribulations that goes along with a race like this. Jenny and Cheryl were everything I could hope for in female companionship. They are the type of girls that can gracefully balance beauty and grit - it takes a special breed of female to endure Ragnar conditions. These girls ran 15-19 miles each on two hours of sleep in a 36-hour period, trapped in a van and forced to use porta-john's - and managed to look beautiful the whole time! My kind of ladies :)

In fact, the whole team was awesome! I have been so fortunate to land in a team of talented runners again. And, thankfully, all with the kind of personalities that you don't want to kill after being around them for more than five hours!

Group photo at the finish

Ragnar 2011 went off smoothly for us this year - no broken bones or anything (Tom!!), so I say that's a success. The weather wasn't as warm as I was hoping, but still a good ten degrees warmer at its coldest and NO precipitation! Last year we ran through sleet and rain - not so awesome. There was also a 3/4 moon which ... you don't realize how much light that sucker puts off until you're running down a lone country road in TOTAL blackness. We did have some thick fog which was an interesting challenge in itself; with headlamps we had to wear for safety at nighttime, the light reflected off the fog and threw it back in our face. Imagine running through a haunted house thick with dry ice.

Cheryl said that she saw one guy tumble off the shoulder all of the way down a hill at night! Yikes!

After we ran our first legs, Van 2 stopped over at a little place in Winchester, TN, called John T's BBQ. It was an awesome restaurant with the friendliest owner/staff I've ever met. You can read my full review of his restaurant on Trip Advisor. We left there fat and happy :)

My legs totaled up to about 17+ miles. I haven't been running very much, and my lack of training became evident as the race wore on and my pace got longer. I started out around 8:30-9mins, then 9:18, and then I think we totally stopped keeping track. But I'm very proud of my first 6.7 mile leg where I kicked butt! But I was definitely the weakest runner in our van. No one cared - cool bunch of people!

Tom was the last runner and he brought us to the finish line in a euphoric group run at the end. You can see from our picture that we were goofy happy at that point.

Tom finishing his leg with the whole group!

Today is Monday - I'm slowly recovering use of my legs but walking a little like a robot. At least I'm not the only one in the group!

Everyone is asking - are you doing this race again? I think maybe not. My distance running days are coming to a close. My knee just doesn't love it, and I think I'm going to have listen to my knee.

But I don't regret Ragnar this year - you see, the race isn't really about the running. If all you do is literally run, eat, sleep, repeat - you've missed the point. I think I've made some incredible friends. It's so hard for me to find people that I can relate to and who I actually WANT to spend time around. This bunch of lunatics get me :)

(I don't know if that's good or bad for them...)

Biggest Loser Finals

2011-11-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I should post up the results. I fell short of my grandiose dreams of 8 or 10 lbs lost. Final poundage lost was 5.2 in four weeks.

Instead of being discouraged at falling short of my goal, however, I am positively THRILLED about shedding poundage! I feel good knowing that these were real pounds lost over time - not just quick water weight shed at the last minute. My hormones derailed me (like they do every month), but I'm confident that I can quickly get on track again and hit the weight loss hard for at least two weeks at a time until I meet my goal.

On the bright side, I came in second place! Everyone did great job - combined we lost 40 lbs in four weeks!! Phenomenal job guys! I think we'll do the contest again after the holidays and do a few things differently. Hopefully we have a bigger (no pun intended) participant list, and we'll have a higher pay-in ($20) with prizes to second and third places. One problem with our contest was, once the first place holder got so far ahead, everyone else just sort of gave up and started stuffing their faces.

And boy did he get far ahead! He ended up losing over 17 lbs in four weeks - wow! He used a broth diet with a built in "cheat" day. That's what I call commitment.

I'm so excited that as a group we motivated each other, even if it was in a mildly competitive manner, to do something we've been wanting to do anyway.

I love this stuff!

Biggest Loser - Week 2

2011-10-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm down 5 whole pounds! WOOHOO!

Official weigh in: 127.2.

Pumpkin cheesecake, eat your heart out!

Biggest Loser - First Week Update

2011-09-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I'm so successfully sneaky that I was able to talk nine other people into suffering a weight loss campaign with me!

I need to drop the pounds, but I didn't want to do it by myself - in fact I really need the support and incentive. My sincere thanks to Dale Carnegie's tutelage in winning people to my cause; tell them what's in it for them and you can convince people to do almost anything.

The first week's results were recorded this past Monday. I officially dropped 1.6 lbs, or 1.21% of my body weight.

I wasn't able to stick strictly with the low glycemic diet plan. If you've read my previous post about the 4-Hour Body diet I tried for five weeks, you'll remember that my body doesn't respond well to no carbs. After eliminating carbs from my diet, I immediately experienced a drastic emotional response, and since a negative emotional response persisted for the whole five weeks I did the 4-Hour Body, I decided not to put myself (and everyone around me) through that again.

Instead, I have added a low amount of slow-burn carbs to my diet early in the day. This seems to be a much more reasonable food plan for me.

The person in first place lost nearly seven pounds the first week! Wow! Competition is becoming fierce, and the sabotage attempts involving sweets and desserts are increasing.

I'm very excited that so many people are participating. This may have started out as a devious and selfish manipulation on my behalf, but I think that the contestants will get a feeling of empowerment over their selves by the end of the content. They'll realize that they are able to take control of their lives and their bodies and accomplish an awesome end goal - that self knowledge transcends mere weight loss goals. I know that I personally am feeling very proud of my level of effort and will power so far.

I just did a preliminary self-check-in (official weigh-in isn't till Monday): 129.4

Let's see how the weekend goes...

The Biggest Loser - Workplace Style!

2011-09-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

So I made my own 30-day goal of losing 8lbs in 4 weeks... but then I realized that I didn't want to do it all by myself. So I first enlisted one friend to to do it with me... then another.

Then I decided to put the challenge to my co-workers. So now we have a full-on Biggest Loser challenge! I'm so selfish, but at least everyone participating can reap the rewards of my selfishness.

The buy in is $10. There is a weekly weigh-in and at the end of 30 days, whoever has lost the highest bodyweight PERCENTAGE, wins the pot. I'm very excited!

Today was the first weigh-in and official start. I'm doing a low-glycemic eating plan that requires a seven-day fruit/veggie cleanse. Not too tough as long as I remember to eat often. Veggies are only so filling. Adding a fun layer of complexity to this challenge, I have that 195-mile relay race in November and I have to start running this week!

My official weigh-in was 132 lbs. I hope to reach 122 by the end of 30 days, but realistically I may only see 6-8. Either way, it's helping me big-time to have motivation. I hope my co-workers understand how much I needed this boost and their support - even if they are playing to win the cash.

I will update my weekly progress here. Wish me luck!

This is sort of how the weigh-in at work went today...

Maslow's Pyramid Lesson

2011-09-07T13:14:00.000-07:00

See my latest post on Paul's blog.

Hope you're enjoying the cooling weather - Autumn is upon us!

~April

The Advice I Need To Give Myself

2011-08-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

I have a friend, a younger person, who will come to me for advice every now and again. And each time I end up telling her the same things. Not even on purpose, but with every problem she poses, I've realized that the root is the same, therefore my advice is generally the same.

Usually the conversation from her side sounds a lot like this: I'm not losing any weight, but I haven't really been eating very well. I need to get out of this job, but I can't get focused enough to study. I want to get this business up off the ground, but the work I need to do just sits in a stack in the living room. I've started a new exercise program last week - I'm going to skip the first four-week phase and jump into the second phase to get more out of it. Oh, my kids are starting school this week and I've been fighting with my hubby.

And the solutions that she has come up with on her own look at lot like this: I've been taking fistfulls of supplements to help me concentrate, to give me energy, to give me nutrition, to improve my mood, to increase my metabolism (etc). I'm thinking about getting those shoes that work out your legs when you walk (she has a desk job). I'm going to try (insert name) diet to try to lose weight. I'm going to do the workout videos after I cook dinner, iron my husband's work shirts, and put the kids to bed.

Whoah!! Slow your roll, sister!

At first I tried to address each of the issues individually, but after a while of listening to the long list of her obstacles grow, I realized that I could compound all of my advice into one easy-to-digest package.

Her main problem, as I see it (and since she came to ME for advice that's all that matters right?) is really fairly simple: she must pick her top two or three priorities and focus on them. And put the rest on the backburn.

(BTW - A project management technique - part of my new job, funny how PM has application in real life.)

So what I realized is that the answer is not to help her fix all of the issues she brings me - the best help I could giver her is to help her realize that Rome wasn't built in a day. That she didn't gain all that weight in a day, and she sure as hell isn't going to lose it all in a day. Prioritization will help fix her "focus" issues and she can quit taking her daily cornucopia of pills and powders.

Repetition is a common and well known learning technique; I feel like this time she might take the prioritization and patience speech to heart.

After she left, I become introspective. I haven't been diligent in my fitness studies. Nor have I been doing my Zumba workout every morning. How can I expect to change my life if I'm not prioritizing my time?

Why is it so much easier to give advice than to follow it??

How Modern Food Has Created A Society of Addicts

2011-08-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Today I set up a shrine to myself and my child in the breakroom of my workplace. It's really a marketing ploy to sell chocolate for the football team's fundraiser. The adorable mother/son pic is just a tool to manipulate people into feeding their addiction.

I'm such a hypocrite.

After I lugged the two cases of chocolate into the break room, I made myself a turkey and whole wheat flatbread sandwich with a side of raw broccoli and carrots. I myself won't touch the chocolate, but not everyone has that kind of resolve. They can't help it, they're addicts. So we prey on their weakness. But in my defense, no one asked my opinion as to what the fundraiser should be for football. I was handed $100 worth of candy bars and told (basically) that whether I throw them in the river or feed them to my dogs, I need to cough up $100 for the candy in a month. $100 on top of the $200 I've already spent on football. So I do what any dignified parent does and peddle my child's wares at work. Oh well. That's how suburban parenting rolls. I digress.

The whole thing reminded me of the blog I meant to post about carbs and chocolate is a perfect lead-in. I found this guy's site and really liked the simplified explanation he gave of the role of carbs in our bodies and in our lives. As I've been studying and learning for my personal trainer certification I've learned a lot of useful and eye-opening facts about the way the body works - having this foundation of knowledge is essential in leading people to live healthier lives. And it satiates my desire to know WHY. Being told to do something "just because" has never been okay with me. I need to know WHY I should do it.

So here's the skinny on carbs. I took this excerpt directly from the site above:

Carbohydrates are considered simple or complex based upon their chemical structure. Both types contain four calories per gram, and both are digested into the bloodstream as glucose, which is then used to fuel our bodies for normal daily activity and exercise. The main difference between simple and complex carbs is:

Simple carbohydrates or simple sugars – These carbs are broken down and digested very quickly, but most simple carbs contain refined sugars and very few essential vitamins and minerals. Examples include table sugar, fruit juice, milk, yogurt, honey, molasses, maple syrup and brown sugar.
Complex carbohydrates – The complex carbs take longer to digest and are packed with fiber, vitamins and minerals. Examples include vegetables, whole grain breads, oatmeal, legumes, brown rice and wheat pasta.

So the simple carbs - all the crap food you eat, the white rice and pastas, the sugary snacks and desserts, the chips - have no nutritional value first of all, and second of all, they're broken down quickly and energy supply 'burns' away quickly. So as soon as you eat it, you're hungry for more again. It's an addiction.

...all of the ingested sugar quickly rushes into your bloodstream. You typically feel a quick rush of energy. Your body then promptly reacts to this sudden spike in blood sugar by calling on the pancreas to produce additional insulin to remove the excess sugar from your blood. And for the moment, you have significantly lower blood sugar as a result of the insulin doing its job, resulting in a sense or feeling of needing more fuel, more energy and more calories. And as you hit that residual low blood sugar, you begin to crave more of the quick-release, simple sugars, and hence you have just initiated the sugar craving cycle.

The more fibrous and healthy carbs will take longer to digest and therefore will be available to your body for energy, and you will feel fuller longer. Is brown rice as delicious as white rice? Not really - not at first. Is whole wheat pasta the same as eating good old fashioned spaghetti noodles? Takes a while to get used to. But it's only instant gratification - and delayed gratification is a sign of maturity, some will argue. I would say that making healthy food decisions and bucking the marketing ploys (they think they know you so well!) is a sign of nutritional maturity.

I suggest eating your carbs early in the day. Eat whole wheat and keep carb intake low; also it helps to eat a protein with the carb, it slows down the release into the bloodstream. Unless you're an athlete of course, and then you'll have a whole meal plan. But if you're an office worker like me chances are you don't need all that extra energy. When shopping at the grocery store, spend your time on the outside of the aisles... the danger foods are almost all on the inside aisles. Eat raw veggies during the day. Admittedly I like to have some low-fat ranch dressing with my veggies... but only a little to add flavor. Try making your own cole slaw with very little dressing. Add toasted pine nuts and/or dried fruit to give it added flavor. And finally, keep your food selections simple. Simple foods will help you keep to your food plan - if you try to get fancy, you're only making it harder on yourself. Until you have that iron control that lets you bypass the candy bars and creamy sauces... you'll need to keep your food life as easy as possible.

Remember not to beat yourself up when you slip. And you should always have at least one big fat cheat meal every week to keep your metabolism on it's toes - when it gets bored, you plateau.

Hope these explanations help - remember to always ask WHY!

Cheater Cheater, Pumpkin Eater!

2011-08-12T11:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm seriously busy. With football season and school starting plus starting a new role in my company, things in my life have really been shaken up. I've been doing well working out at least once a day - sometimes twice on bike riding days. I've started lifting weights only on Tues and Thurs - I want to bulk up my upper body a little since with bike riding my legs are getting all of the glory. I want to look like a fitness expert. Nothing says personal trainer like flabby arms...

Anyway, being this busy means I"m eating at Subway 3 times a week. I also don't have much time to prepare meals for eating at work, so I admit it, I use shortcuts.

Don't get me wrong, eating whole, natural foods is the best way to pack in all of your good stuff. Frankly, I just often don't have the time. Mornings, when I don't have time to cook and I haven't prepared a load of food for the week on Sunday, I will often grab a protein drink.

I prefer EAS Light. It has the fewest carbs and the most protein with the least amount of calories than any other protein drink I can find. With only 110 calories and packing a whopping 17 grams of protein and only SIX carbs, it does it's job well. I also pack in cole slaw, broccoli salad, an avocado, or raw brocolli to eat with breakfast too.

For lunch I love the steamables frozen foods. My newest favs are the greenbeans with almonds, and the mixed beans (black beans, soy beans, sugar snap peas and carrots) in a butter sauce. I try to get the ones without pasta, rice, or potatos, since I don't want the added carbs. Since I often work out before I lunch, I need a proten, so I'll mix in a pouch or can of chicken. But if you like tuna, tuna packs in twice the amount of protein (I hate canned tuna).

In a pinch, though, I'll grab another protein drink. I aim for at least 20grams of protein with each meal.

At the beginning of the week, I try to buy the little flabread sandwich bread (less carbs) and a ton of lunch meat. I have a flatbread and turkey sandwich for breakfast with veggies - I want to get my carbs in early so that they are avaialble to burn as energy throughout the day. Always avoid carbs at dinnertime, unless you're storing up to workout the next day, and when you do consome carbs make sure they're complex carbs: whole grain rice, pasta, breads. (I'm going to have another post on carbs, but this site explains carbs in layman's terms). I also buy a bunch of apples and bags of fresh cut veggies with a light ranch to snack on throughout the day. I've found that bringing your food on Monday for the week if you can is the best way to ensure you'll eat right all week.

Anyway, some quick tips. I hope this helps someone - I know a lot of people struggle with food during work. It's so easy and tempting to go out, but easier to say no if you have food at work already.

Good luck!

Smoothe Operator

2011-08-05T07:23:00.000-07:00

My mean bike-riding face

Life has really been getting in the way lately! So I didn't get ride my sweet ride for the first time until yesterday.
And let me just say -- Wow!

My bike is like the Lexus of bikes! I might be a biased since my last bike was an old, rusty, out of shape Trek mountain bike with monster tires. And this one has 1-1/2" wide road tires. Even so, I didn't have any discomfort in my hands or my arse. I paid a little more to get the carbon fork (where the handlebars are mounted) and the carbon seat post. I also had on padded shorts helped a ton.

It handlesl corners like it's on rails (Pretty Woman) - it has the sharpest turning radius I've ever experienced on a bike. And, inadvertantly, my first ride was up a steep hill, prob easily 45degrees. That big third gear (the real reason I went with the Lexa SL model) allowed me to climb the entire hill, I won't say with ease, but I wasn't about to fall off either.

All in all, this is an awesome investment! I will ride at least 3x week - Aydin has 3 two-hour practices every week, so I will have something to do. Also, we were going to go backpacking but forecasting storms out where we were going (about 2-1/2 hours south) so we'll stay home and do some riding instead. Maybe a long road run, and then Sunday a trail ride - back on my Trek mtn bike (which has had a tune-up).

The point is to stay active!

Be Weird

2011-07-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

You wouldn't believe the shock, horror, and disgust in my co-workers' eyes when I walk from the kitchenette to my desk with a plate of raw broccoli as part of my breakfast. As they walk away carrying plates of muffins bigger than my head, bagels like car tires, and sweet sticky doughnuts. I'm not judging, I'm just pointing out how "weird" it makes me at work. I don't mind. Even though they look at my plate with revulsion and whisper about my strangeness to each other, I realize that they still look to me to be the 'healthy' one. And that knowledge is what keeps me strong when those muffins are calling my name...

I need to get the 3 HP blender that Luther recommended to me, along with the smoothie recipe book for food-based healing. Then I could get all of my veggies, protein, etc, in just one delish smoothie.

In other news, man I really hosed my knee again. It never fully healed, but I think doing my Billy Blanks Tae Bo DvDs really put a lot of strain on it. Anyway, I'm taking my anti-inflammatories again, and I'll try to take it easy on the wild roundhouse kicks for a while. The doc told me I have Runner's Knee (the non-medical term) and that the only way to improve it is to strengthen the muscles around my knees and not over-using it. That's how I injured it to begin with - I ran 6 days a week two years ago training for a half-marathon. It's an overuse injury and I didn't train properly; I should have been doing cross-training instead of just running (swimming, bicycling, etc).

I'll slow down, but I'm not stopping. I'm measuring myself every two weeks now, and I'm up a few inches from April.

My Shiny New Toy!

2011-07-26T09:23:00.000-07:00

Fitness can be cheap. Even free. Then there's bicycling. Which is neither of those, and actually quite at the other end of the spectrum; though not as bad as, say, skiing or speedboat racing and the like.

At any rate, I guess this is my new sport. Buying a bike, I've found, is totally an investment. I went to Trace bikes at the Loveless Cafe near Nachez Trace. I highly recommend going to a bike shop if you can. I know nothing about bikes, but I know I wanted a road bike since I already have a mountain bike. They helped me get the type of bike I need, the size, explained all of the components and were able to fit me to a bike that best suited my needs (lots of gears for huge hills).

I'll get it Thursday, and I just bought my clip-in shoes and helmet to match. Now I need those padded butt shorts and I'll be set.

Ode A La Pomme

2011-07-22T12:46:00.000-07:00

I have to admit - I don't always have the most discerning palate. I wish my taste buds were sophisticated enough to scoff at no-label ingredients, but the truth is that I'm a not a foodie and I'm not picky about a lot of stuff, taste-wise.

Except for apples. Apples are one of the few fruits that I am willing to eat on a regular basis. I'm more of a texture person and fruits are usually mushy and squishy in my mouth and I am not a fan. Apples are solid and fibrous and juicy. But I don't like the mealy red ones, pretty and classic as they are. And I don't like the green/yellow ones which tend to be bitter and tart, despite their firm consistency.

No, I like the pink ones - the zinfandel of the apple world, the happy medium. And not just any pink ones - the Galas, the Fuji's, the Braeburns. But last week I discovered the New Zealand Jazz apple. I can't even describe the flavor to you - but suffice it say that when I bit into the Jazz, I really took notice of a superb and superior apple flavor. And just in case I thought I was just tasting things, Aydin had one as a snack after school the other day and he was immediately awed.

It's important for me to have SOME things in my nutrition arsenal that give me pleasure when I consume them - try as I may I'm always at least a little emotionally connected to my food. Add a little almond butter, and I have a sweet and satisfying snack which may just be enough keep me out of the chocolate jar!

Also the health benefits of apples are undisputed: they reduce the chance of getting Alzheimer's, reduce many forms of cancer, keep your bowels healthy, and help prevent skin disease, among some of the benefits.

Anyway, that's my ode à la pomme. An entire blog post devoted to the apple. I've just amazed even myself.

Bringing Back Tae Bo!

2011-07-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure where the idea came from, to tell you the truth. Back in the day I had the whole Tae Bo video workout series - what, something like 9 dvds? I've also trained in Tae Kwon Do. But what was it that brought this Billy Blanks workout into my mind as I was thinking of ways to work out without dying in the sweltering heat?

It was probably when I was trying to think of a way to encourage men and boys to become involved in group fitness. What is it that interests most men and boys? Well, sports for one. And judging strictly from my 9-yr old boy, fighting and violence.

And then earlier this week I saw this article. Hilarious - but.. fate?

So I've been sweating to Billy's workouts this week and I have to say, it's tough! I'm pouring sweat during the workout and I feel like it's fun and sufficiently challenging. The thing I like best about the workouts, is that it's not just all punching and kicking. He incorporates a lot of repetitious movements that build up the muscles that you will need for punching and kicking. Because let me tell you - these aren't the muscles that you use every day!

So far, I give Billy two thumbs up. Although I may need several DVD's so I don't get bored with a single workout or two.

Road Warrior Workout

2011-07-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm signed up to get newsletters from Cool Spring's D1 Fitness which is owned in part by Peyton Manning. They often sponser some races that I run like the 5K Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning.

Anyway, one of their trainers posted a Road Warrior's Workout - for people who travel a lot. It's tailored around your typical hotel gym. If you travel a lot, or if you have a small gym in your apartment or condo complex, this is a great workout plan. Print it out, or save the link and view it on your ipad.

Live healthy, do happy, and love each other!

Gettin' Back On

2011-07-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

The wagon, that is. I fell pretty hard this past week and a half. I could name the stress factors, but I hate to bore you.

As I was dealing with life this past week, and as life was slapping my face like a wet salmon, I was thinking of my goals (the fitness trainer ones) and thinking what a poor example I've been that week. I also noticed that at the first sign of stress I immediately soak my blues in comfort food and wine. My energy levels (which I'd expended in heat energy every time I blew my top) were at rock bottom so exercise was a mere afterthought.

I made the conscious decision not to beat myself up about it. I knew that there was a tangible and short end in sight, so I just hung on for the ride and tried to make better decisions. To do otherwise, to berate myself about not meeting my goals and being weak-willed, would only have compounded my stress and made everything worse.

About that time, I came upon an article from Active.com, which I allow in my Facebook feed, that addressed the type of situation I was dealing with. In this article the author challenges you to face more than just the krispy kremes you ate this morning as a reason that you're struggling with weight loss. She asks you to look deeper. It's not profound, but served as a reminder to me that there's more to health than just willpower.

Yard Work

2011-07-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was reminded that "working out" doesn't always mean a scheduled, neat, planned exercise routine. I got a crazy workout Sunday doing "yard work". I put that in quotes because... jeez. Doing yard work in the country is NOT the same as keeping up a suburban home yard. In the country in the woods. It involved felling a tree, dragging said tree, and cutting/dragging a bunch of saplings. I didn't cut, to clarify. I prize all of my limbs and digits thank you very much. There was also weeding, mulching, replanting in one garden, and shoring up plants in the other. It was messy. In fact, it was friggin filthy and hot. But satisfying. Even if the backs of my thighs are tighter than matress coils.

Today I hit the work gym super hard - felt amazing! Yes! This is how I lost those 15 lbs two years ago! I've realized that if I don't feel like I'm working very hard, then I'm not working hard enough. It doesn't have to be pain, it just has to feel like real WORK, you know? There's no slacking when it comes to shedding pounds and working out. If you don't do it right, no one gets 'hurt' but you. That's what I like about it. I could shirk my workouts... but... these jiggly thighs ain't going nowhere (as they say in these parts).

Tomorrow I start Zumba in the morning again. I'm *ANXIOUSLY* awaiting my Billy Blanks DVD's! I'm going to make aydin do them with me a few evenings per week to get him ready for football practices. Stay tuned to America's Funniest Video's for those clips...

Strictly For the Ladiez (Guys, you've been warned)

2011-07-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

I want to be faithful every week and work out at least 6 days out of each week. But sometimes, a girl just has to wave the white flag. Well, the red flag if I'm going to be honest.

It happens to the best of us. We're on a winning streak: we're eating well, we've kept our cheat meals to one meal a week, we've cut out the beer, and we're exercising like animals! Then we get the visit from Aunt Flo and nearly every ounce of strength and willpower ebbs away and we find ourselves elbow deep in a bag of salty chips with a side of chocolate cookies and well into our second glass of red wine. (That was my night last night).

First, it's ok. At first, these cravings are so strong that they will scant be denied. But the longer you're living your healthy lifestyle, the gentler the rumblings and the easier you'll be able to satiate this sleeping beast. Don't beat yourself up. Just do better tomorrow.

So my advice is to keep moving, but as your energy levels deplete, do less - much less if you have to. But keep the habit. I find that I need an extra day of rest. I also cut my workouts back to once a day, and I let my body dictate the intensity of the workouts.

And I drink lots of water - but that's prob to offset the abundance of wine from the night before... **Sigh** I'll do better tomorrow...

Healthy Is A Lifestyle

2011-07-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

The more I learn about nutrition and fitness the more I become convinced of one thing: being healthy is a lifestyle. I know we hear that all the time, but have you ever stopped to reflect upon what that really means? I have been and I wanted to put down to paper, as it were, what it means to me.

For one, being healthy doesn't mean buying into fads and looking for shortcuts while continuing to live your life status quo. I tried this myself, several times. I took Hydroxycut. I took all manner of appetite suppressing potions. Guess what? **shock** It never worked. Not once. What I learned from that is that if I'm overeating and can't seem to control my cravings, there is something else at play. For me, it was stress from work and my relationship and living situation. Stress, btw, is a powerful hormone inducer and an emotional health disaster. The point is, if you really feel like you *can't* get your eating under control, seek help - there are bigger forces at work. Fix that, and you'll fix those cravings.

Basically, from my experience, being healthy and attaining a healthy lifestyle means that you can't continue to live your current lifestyle. Adding a few things (like toning shoes or vitamins) won't get you there if you keep doing the same things. In a recent study, Nielson found that American TV viewing was up 22 minutes from last year. Americans spend on average 2.5 hours a day in front of the boob tube. If you decide you want to be a healthier invidivudal (either on your own or your doctor grew some 'nads and told you to lose weight), you can't continue spending all of your evening after work watching TV. I promise you, it won't work. Get rid of cable if you must (and I suggest that you ABSOLUTELY DO - Besides most shows are on Hulu).

Being healthy and fit is, as much as people don't want to think about the fact, 60% diet and 40% exercise. Totally speaking from experience, if you have crap in your house, you will eat crap. So if you want to get healthy and your family isn't on board... this will be a tougher battle for you. Even if you tell yourself the cookies are off limit, you're gonig to be starving one day and the fastest, easiest most delish thing in the world will be those cookies. But you'll just have one..... right? Good luck with that.

My advice: Purge PURGE PURGE! Get rid of the crap. Eat it all if you must, but once it's gone, that's it.

Here's a trick I use: Since I do the shopping for my house, I make a list on Sat or Sun. I plan for 7 dinners, lunch all week, and breakfast. And I buy ONLY enough for those meals. So if we don't eat those meals, then we don't eat anything.

Which brings me to trick number two: Keep it simple. Every night for dinner I have a grilled lean meat (chicken, salmon, sometimes a filet) and a veggie side. That's IT.

I digress.

Lifestyle - so, nutrition fads won't work I've decided. What about fitness? Silly shoes won't work. Toning? You can "tone" your calves all day, but if you still have layers and layers of fat on them no one will ever know.

If you've followed my advice and cut off cable, NOW what do you do?? You fill your time in the evenings with fun stuff. Fun stuff? Abso-freaking-lutely.

Listen to me now, for this is IMPERATIVE: If your fitness is not FUN and ENJOYABLE to you, you will NOT succeed in making fitness a lifestyle change. I know this!! I have tried workout plans that are cumbersome, doing exercises I hate. And I promise I didn't stick with it. No, to make fitness stick, to make sure that exercise is a part of your life and not a burden you need to find activities that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be the hottest bootcamp in town.

These are awesome ideas for incorporating exercise and action into your daily life, and making sure it sticks forever:
Belly dancing classes
Zumba
Spin (I love spin!) classes
Martial Arts
Adult rec league sports
Hiking
Backpacking
Running (Make goals - 5k races are fun to train for. I can help!!)
Daily walks with family (Great family time, stay in touch with your spouse, your kids, walk Fido!)
Daily walks with friends
Daily walks at work
Join a gym with friends
Play ball with your kids daily
Bicycling
Surfing
Swimming
The list goes on and on and on. I love doing classes at my local rec center. Group fitness is an awesome way to stay motivated. Having an instructor show you how to do workouts right is priceless. Spin and Zumba are some of my favorites. My rec center also offers strength training classes, which is mostly women. Women are often intimidated by all the weights and machines in gyms and so don't go near them. A shame. Hire a personal trainer (again, come talk to me!)

So... sorry for the long post, but I feel so much passion when I talk about fitness. I could go on all day. But I'm done for now. I'm off to do my boxing workout at the gym downstairs. We have 3 people doing it today. Yay!!

First Race in Eight Months...

2011-07-05T14:35:00.000-07:00

...And it wasn't pretty.

But I can't complain. And in fact, I should be happy that I could run the whole 3.1 miles at all since I can count on one hand how many times I've run since the Ragnar back in November.

I ran the Cadillac Firecracker 5k in over 27 mins. More than 3 mins longer than my last/best 5k time. But I made it!

Honestly, it reminded me to be grateful of the resilience of the human body. It's good to know that we can bounce back when he haven't been exactly nice to ourselves consistenly.

At least I can tell people with certainty and authority that with work, even a couch potato can get their motor running again, and mold their bodies into the amazing machines that they are.

Wasting No More Time

2011-06-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

I'm pulling out all of the stops. I'm stepping off the merry-go-round and boarding the roller coaster, kids. I refuse to waste any more time; it's taken me so long to get here to this place, this decisional crux, I refuse to start slow.

Now that I have a goal, I'm going to reach it and do one better - I'll EXCEED my goals. How bout that!

I'm freshly dedicated to working out, eating right, and looking great. After all, who wants to follow a personal trainer that's a little.... fluffy? It's just not right. So while I feed my brain, I'm working simultaneously on making my body a temple. That's what I call it. It sounds ambitious and sexy, doesn't it?

EATING
I've rejected the no-carb diet, and sort of doing a slow-carb diet instead. I just can't go through that agony again. So I eat vegetables 4 times a day: with breakfast, as a mid-morning snack, lunch, and at dinner. I also eat protein at least 3 times per day. I generally have an apple as my mid-afternoon snack, and a square of the Ghiardelli dark (72%) chocolate to satisfy my sweet craving. I found today that I may have to add in a few more carbs now and again. Jeremy at work supplied me with an emergency granola bar - I was ravenous and needed something before my lunchtime workout, and the veggies and lunch meat were not making me feel better. After the granola, I was 100% better - low blood sugar maybe.

WORKING OUT
So for exercise: I wake up at 5:15 and do Zumba. Right now I'm just learning so it's a 20 min workout. Then at lunch I do the following:

Mon, Wed, Fri: boxing workout with Paul T in the gym. Mostly it's strength and core strength training, with some punches sprinkled in for spice.
Tues & Thurs: 4.5-6 mile bike ride. Doesn't sound like much, but the hills are killer!
Friday: I alternate on Fridays - sometimes I run 2-4 miles, sometimes do a boxing workout. I aim to do both, a 2 mile run and strength training. We'll see.

I have yet to decide what to do on the weekends. Right now just this 5 day rigorous schedule is kicking my butt so I really do need two days to recover. I at least walk on Sunday in the neighborhood, just so I don't get in the habit of getting lazy.

I'm very excited! I think I've mentioned that. I've sent out the call to my co-workers to join us during the week in some of these activities. I really enjoy the group workout aspect, plus it's just so good to get the endorphins pumping in the middle of the day and I want to share that with the other cube-dwellers.

Peace, Fitness, and a New Life Path

2011-06-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

I've found peace.

I've embraced fitness.

And as a result, I found my new life path.

I've been struggling for the past few (10?!) years with the quintessential question: What do I want to be when I grow up? Well, I'm 30 now and I've finally found the answer.

I looked in some strange places. But, oddly, I found my answer inside. Thanks to help from my wonderful hypotherapist, Steve, I was able to delve inside my own heart and mind and find what truly motivated me and where my passion lie.

Well - this blog, for one. My never-ending pursuit of the perfect fitness and nutritional regime. The conversations I've had with friends, family, co-workers and strangers about health and wellness in general. My answer has been here all along!

I'm now working towards a certification in personal training, nutrition, and exercise therapy. Where I go from there... the sky is the limit! I can't even describe in words how THRILLED I am to be on the road to helping people discover a better life for themselves. I'm working now on making my own body a temple, with the help of Paul Tate, who himself has been a great coach and was part of the inspiration that led me in this direction.

I will once again be keeping up with my own blog which chronicles, painfully, my struggle over the past few years. I will also post my progress and other health and wellness content as I work to achieve my new fitness/nutrition/educational goals.

I'll also be guest blogging in Paul's blog on his website.

I have a long road ahead of me - I'm just starting out. But I am 100% committed and 500% excited! Thanks to you all who been inspirational, motivational, and provided me advice and training along the way. I still need it!

As usual, if it seems too good to be true...

2011-04-11T06:46:00.000-07:00

...then like your dad says, it probably is.

So I'm done with the 4 hour body. I gave it a month and some change, and all in all I'm gaining weight. I'm probably doing something wrong, but I feel like I've followed the guy's advice to a tee. If I keep doing this, I'm going to end up doing more damage.

This diet is probably good for someone who has a lot of weight to lose. And truthfully, if I scaled my portions exponentially, beefing up my veggie portions and cutting back protein and beans to mere spoonfulls, then this program would probably work for me too. However, I would have the same luck with whatever I decided to eat, in the same portion sizes. This guy claims that eating food in this combination will speed up weight loss, more so than merely eating fewer calories.

And no exercise? Definately too good to be true.

I'm going to go back to my own tried and true methods - which, truely, aren't vastly different than Tim Ferriss'. I eat less than 1200 calories per day; exercise; and keep carbs, sugar, booze, etc, to a minimum - I mean, to take in that few calories daily requires keeping crap foods to a minimum by default. Then I let loose a *little* on the weekend - that does NOT mean I engorge myself. That part of the 4 hour body diet is probably what keeps killing me. My body doesn't recover after pigging out to that extent. Sure, I could pig out less. But I don't love the 4 hour body eating regimen enough to keep doing it when I won't see results any more powerful than when i'm on my own eating plan.

My guess is, if you have 20 pounds or more to lose, ANY type of program that you stick with is going to work because your eating is obviously out of control anyway. But I don't have 20 lbs to lose. I have 7 or 8 max.

I will measure myself in two weeks, on my own program, and see how I fare. Last week's measurements were downright depressing. I weighed the same and my measurements were the same. :(

So no more bean abundance for me - thank god.

Now have a $30 book I don't need. Anyone need a structured weight loss plan??

**UPDATE** 6/27/11

I wanted to share some insight I received AFTER trying this diet. I highly recommend that anyone trying a radical change in diet, become familiar with the physiological impact of such changes.

I felt like death on this diet because I was approaching, or experiencing, ketosis. Ketosis happens (in a simplification) when the body doesn't have glycogen to burn for energy and instead starts burning fats. It's controversial. Certainly for some, without controversy, like diabetics, this is a dangerous state. But some argue that it's a healthful and preferred way for the body to use/burn energy since it starts using the fat alone. You can read more about ketosis from the wiki site: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketosis#Diet

4-Hour Body: Too good to be true?

2011-04-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

So I'm back to trying to get my body into something resembling a paragon of fitness and sexy.

Psssht. Yeah, right.

However, I am back to batttling the bulge. I am exactly 7 lbs heavier today than I was this time last year and it's NOT coming off easily (from 123 in 2010 to 130 today).

Enter 4 Hour Body, by Tim Feriss.

This is my first "formal", all-encompassing health and fitness regime. I have the guy's book - read it, took notes, and implemented the diet and excercise portion immediately. The logic and science seem sound (Dammit Jim, I'm not a doctor!) and he touts results - don't they all.

So I'm eating beans, protein and veggies 4 times a day 6 days a week. No sugar, dairy (except my coffee creamer, back off!), or carbs. And one pigfest day each week. Nirvana, if you ask me. Also, exercise is miminal since my only real energy comes from the beans.

I actually started to do this about 3 weeks ago - I got the diet portion from a friend... who neglected to mention a few important details. So 3 weeks down the drain. I purchased the book for myself and got the real scoop, and I've been doing it now for exactly 1 week today.

Tim says 20 lbs in 30 days isn't exceptional. However, a week later, I've lost zero pounds. I took my measurements a week ago, and I'll take them again today. But honestly I don't feel skinnier. And to lose 20 lbs in 30 days, i would think that you'd have to see some progress at least in the first week. ::angryface::

But whatever - I'm sticking with it for at least 30 days, and if I don't see real, measureable body fat depletion, I guess I'm going to have to go with my old April standby of calorie counting, and then rate this program a bust.

**CROSSING FINGERS** Here's to hoping!

I won!

2010-11-22T09:21:00.000-08:00

...The Kingston Springs second annual Run Through the Springs 5K Female 30-35(ish?) age group, that is. My first medal!

It doesn't really matter that there were less than 200 participants. Or that there were just a handful of females in my age group. I medaled, dammit!

Sadly, it was with a 26-something minute time, too. I felt like crap last Saturday and my knee started acting up. (Excuses, excuses). It was so far below my last/best 5k time in July - 24 mins.

I have to say, however, that it was a great course. The run started at the KS park, went across the train tracks and through "downtown" KS. It was hilly and challenging, and very pretty.

We left before medals were awarded because I figured with a slow time like that there was no way on earth I would win anything - the thought never crossed my mind (the winner came in at just over 16 mins). So now i"m famous and my name is in the little free local paper (under the picture of the winners my name is listed in the caption with "not listed"). Bummer. But the medal's in the mail. :)

A 195-miler To Remember - Or - Ragnar 2010!

2010-11-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

Rewind again to November 5 and 6 where Tom, Joel, nine other guys and I completed a 195-mile Chattanooga to Nashville relay race. During this race, we had 12 people with six in two vans leap-frogging each other the entire 195 miles for two days.

Day and night every person ran three legs apiece, varying in distance and difficulty. My legs totaled 15 miles, Tom's 17.

Again, I need to mention that I'm still not in great shape. I'm back up to 130 pounds, with muffin tops all over the place.

Moving along...

This was seriously one of the craziest things I've ever agreed to do! Nearly 30 hours in a van, with maybe an hour's sleep, and running throughout. What was I thinking!? This was so ridiculous.

Tom was the first runner up, and had one of the longest legs of the race: 7.8 miles. And it was a HARD 7.8 miles. He gained several hundred feet in altitude all at once up one long, endless hill. The temperatures this weekend were the coldest of the year - daily highs in the 30s and overnight down to 25 and 26. Nothing about this race was comfortable. Poor Tom labored through the cold, up the hill, and through the city of Chattanooga with car and truck exhaust blowing in his face the whole way. We stopped the van a few times, got out and cheered him on and offered water. As the runners run, the other five people in the van offer support in the way of moral, hydration, fuel, etc.

All during the day we got out of the van and cheered on our runner. And then the skies deepened into dark violet and we began feeling our four am wake up and the effects of the first leg of our race, and it was then we knew that we were in for the longest two days of our lives. By dark, we had each run only leg. There were two to go. After all six of us had run, it was finally time for the next six in the second van to run their first leg. It was late afternoon when they started. At the first major exchange, where the first vans were relieved by their teammates in the second vans, there was a grassy area designated for Frisbee golf, and other entertainment. It was 35 degrees and not a flying Frisbee in sight. Hot chocolate and coffee were in high demand.

By the time we were running our second legs, night was quickly descending. Tom was the first in the van to run again, and it got dark mid-way through his second run. Midway through his second run is also when catastrophe struck Team Roadkill Surfers. After leaving Chattanooga proper, the rest of the race (until Nashville) was run on narrow back roads and two lane country highways. Many of them had little to no shoulder, which made nighttime running perilous, even with the headlamps we were all instructed to wear. On one such back highway, with little illumination, a car approached Tom from the opposite direction and as it did so, he moved further to the side of the road... only to have his foot slip off the shoulder and his ankle to bend at a harsh, awkward angle. He still had two miles to go. This isn't a foot race with hundreds or thousands of people all around you. There weren't race officials and spectators all over the place - runners were sparsely interspersed over 195 miles and locals and onlookers would have no idea (except at the interchanges maybe) that anything at all was going on. So there's poor Tom, his leg and ankle throbbing, and no one to help. So he ran. Two miles later, I was waiting for him as he limp-ran up the last hill. He limped to the van and he announced that he was pretty sure he was done. Someone would have to run his last leg.

As his adoring and dutiful girlfriend, I volunteered. What was another 4.5 miles on top of 15? But as the night wore on, I wore down - hard down. My second leg was nightmarish. At midnight, I hopped out of the van into gale force winds driving sleet and rain into my face. As I began to run, mechanically, ice pelted and scratched at my face, and I began to despair - how was I going to get through this? But five or ten minutes in, the weather stopped as quickly as it started. I found myself alone, running alongside open pastures filled with the lumpy black outlines of sleeping cows. The clouds soon cleared, revealing a magnificently bejeweled sky. The wind died. There were no sounds at all, and it turned into the most beautiful run I've ever had.

Until the pastures gave way to woods, and I was running alone in pitch blackness through them. I won't lie, I was scared. My teammates in van one tried to drive slowly along the road beside me, giving me company and illuminating my run. But then a car would drive up behind them and they'd have to try to find a place down the road to pull off and wait for me. Then they would drive alongside me for a while until another vehicle pushed at them from behind.

Finally my leg route took a hairpin turn to a jackknifed uber-country road that I almost missed, running past it. I just barely saw the Ragnar arrow-sign poiting left. I stopped. No way that the race route took this tiny road. I stood there scratching my head, losing precious moments, but still unwilling to believe I was meant to run into this blackness which was darker even than the blackness of the woods through which I was currently running. Luckily there was another team's van parked at the fork, waiting for their runner. I flashed my hand-held LED flashlight at them, and a passenger rolled down the window - yes, other runners had taken this turn.

This looked so stupid I had to add it.
It's me, mid fist-bump after running my first leg.

And so I began my descent. Into hell itself, it seemed. I have never seen blackness so black. My LED headlamp and LED flashlight together illuminated no further than two steps in front of me. I couldn't even determine the gradient of the hill; I just knew that it was steep. There were no stars, no moon; there were no houses or streetlamps. Only this inky total darkness which ignited my imagination. I thought I could feel the collective breath of the wolf pack stalking me silently from the trees. A couple of backwoods tracker hillbillies who saw my solitary light and an opportunity. The bear that was bound to loom up in front of me as we startled each other in the middle of the black road. My heart was thudding furiously, adrenaline beyond a runner's high was pushing me faster, and my feet thunked down hard with each step since I couldn't determine how steep the decline was - they seemed surprised that they found purchase with step. If it had been left up to my eyes alone, I would have sworn that I was Alice, falling into a substanceless hole of indeterminate depth and breadth. The whole way down, the last mile (do you have ANY IDEA how long a mile is, alone in the dark!) I expected to see a car or a van, at least my own teammates' van, knowing the total darkness through which I was running! But no, not one vehicle. I didn't spot the headlamps of a single runner behind me, nor the flashing LED taillights of a runner in front. There was no one. I kept thinking of the Blair Witch Project - not helping.

Finally I reached the bottom of the seemingly bottomless hill and burst into a field of light and people. Tom was waiting there for me, trying to snap a picture with his cell phone. But the look of fury mingling with terror on my face stopped him short. I was so angry and so scared and so out of breath. My heart was still racing as I passed the "torch" (a slap bracelet) onto Chad, the next runner who had such a shit-eating grin on his face. None of this bothered any of the boys, of course. I assume it's because they don't have my active imagination. I had to forgive my teammates for abandoning me to the monsters of the night. That particular exchange was difficult maneuverability wise, and a volunteer was directing pick-ups and drop offs on the narrow country road - so it wasn't their fault. Still... it took a bit to stem the adrenaline tide.

And so the night wore on. We wore down. No longer were we jumping out of the van into the frigid night air to cheer on our teammates. As we ran, as we watched one am, two am tick by, we each took our own hydration so that no one would have to jump out of the van and hand it to us. We had been up for 24 hours.

Finally we reached the major exchange where we handed of to van two again and we curled up as well as we could and tried to sleep in the van - it was either that or the gymnasium floor of a high school. But first we hit the Huddle House in Randomtown, TN, between Chattanooga and Nashville. We don't know where. We barely knew our names.

When four am rolled around and it was time for us to run our final legs, I couldn't even think of running Tom's portion. One of our teammates in van two had qualified for the Boston recently and he volunteered to take on Tom's last leg. Shamefacedly, I agreed. My turn to run came just before sunrise. It was 24 degrees and though I didn't realize it, we were in Franklin. My run took me past Arrington Vineyards, but I didn't even notice. My thighs were numb with cold, and I was so tired that I could barely pick up my feet. I kept running, though. The whole 4.5 miles, I never stopped once. I ran through sunrise and tried hard to admire the sun glistening off the ice in the fields.

Team Roadkill Surfers!

I would like to pause here and offer tons of praise to all of my teammates. Chris Blaylock was our captain, and was responsible for coordinating 12 people for the race. None of us had ever done this before and indeed this is the first year that Ragnar has come to Tennessee. Getting our team situated and ready for race day was such a fiasco. People signed up and paid and dropped out. And there was the business of renting vans, and picking up and dropping off vans... and so many other thousands of details. I only knew Joel and Tom of all the team members before the race. But I ended up getting to know nine other really cool people.

You get really close when you travel in a van for 30 hours, eating in the van, stinking in the van, changing clothes in the van, sleeping in the van... it was like home (seriously - clothes and food and wrappers and sleeping bags and pillows strewn EVERYwhere). We were lucky enough to have some very seriously talented runners in our group. There was Adam, who had just qualified for the Boston; Trace and Chad, the lanky, tall twins who averaged six something minute 10K's; Chris "Hovey" (because we can't pronounce his last name) who ran up Monteagle in the sleet and driving rain, gaining 1200 feet in altitude and averaging a ten minute-mile pace; Chris Blaylock, our captain, and Joel, who run half marathon distances for fun on the weekends together. There were others, but they come to mind.

Overall, our team landed 34th place out of 160 teams. We ranked 11 in our division. None of us were in it to win it - we were all there for the experience, and none of us left disappointed (except maybe Tom, who didn't find out till Monday at the doctor that he had actually broken his leg!).

It was exhaustive, cold, difficult to put it lightly. But every single one of us say we can't wait to do this again next year!

Anyone who knows runners will tell you - we're a strange breed.

~~

Music City Half, 2010

2010-11-11T08:57:00.000-08:00

Let's rewind back to October 10, 2010.

Together with Tom, I ran the Music City Half for the second year in a row where I completed it and set yet another PR of 1:54. That's a full HOUR better than the first half that I ever ran, in 2008. Wow!

Still not in great shape, and so the run was extremely difficult. I didn't want to hold Tom back because I knew that this time I wasn't going to be able to keep up with him. Around mile 6 or 7, he blew past me and finished somewhere around 10 mins ahead of me.

I can do better.

Hello Again!

2010-11-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

It amuses me that my last post was a cliffhanger.

Oh, the masses must have been writhing in anger!

Oooooor not....

So, the April CMM went off pretty well. The weather was gorgeous during the half run. I ran a PR of 1:59! Under the 2 hour goal mark, if just. The full marathoners, however, weren't as lucky weather-wise. Because of the impending storms they were rerouted at the 22 mile mark. Many didn't get to finish although they still received their medals. Right after we finshed, gathered our medals, and made our long haul back to where we parked the car, the skies opened up. We reached the parking garage just in time to only be slightly damp. Many runners weren't so lucky.

Admittedly, this year has been a bust for me, training-wise. As often happens with new relationships, I've been too busy being in love to worry about training as much. That's not to say I have abadoned exercise altogether. Contrarily, Tom and I do a lot together at lunch, running and weight training. It's just the weekend long runs (or lack thereof) that have killed us.

I'm going to start keeping blog entries again, following my fitness regmin, as I've decided to buckle down and get into the best shape of my life.

Here we go!

Race Day!!!

2010-04-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow! I’m going to be SO glad to have this over and done with.

I’ve been fervently monitoring the weather, hoping the rain clouds would disappear. Instead, 60% chance of rain became WARNING: VOLKSWAGEN SIZED HAIL AND CATEGORY 50 TORNADOS LIKELY.

Extreme running – incentive. That’s what I’ll call it.

At any rate, I’ll enjoy the hell out of some carb-loading tonight and some serious couch-vegging tomorrow afternoon and try not to think about the time between.

Wish me luck!

The Final Countdown!

2010-04-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

Saturday! The race is Saturday - holy crap, Batman!

Eh - I'm gonna make it, even if slowly and uncomfortably. The one thought that gives me comfort through the fact that I haven't trained well for the race is last year's race: where I decided two days prior that I wanted to run the race despite the fact that up to that point the furthest distance I'd ever run is 3.4 miles. I couldn't walk properly for two weeks, no shit. I almost couldn't walk by mile 11 of the race, and I was in tears by the time I crossed the finish line - at just under 3 hours.

I now know that I can do almost anything.

Though I wouldn't recommend that particular thing.

I did a long run Saturday, but only 7 miles or so. My legs and my core were a bit sore but it was knee that really did me in. I'm a bit worried about it for 13 miles. I'm going to get a brace to wear, in case that helps. Probably going to have to go to the doctor after this race - it hasn't been right since I ran the last race in November. Yeah - I'm a procrastinator, sue me.

So I'm in corral number FOUR this year. FOUR? What the crap?! Last year was like 18 or something. Of course, I was rather optomistic when I registered back in December and predicted a 1:50 finish time. Now of course I'll be happy if I finish in 2-1/2 hours. Damn.

I think I'll try training for the Music City Marathon in November, as long as my Dr. gives me the go-ahead. Then I'll go for that 1:50 goal - after all my time for that race last year was 2:08. I got this!

Anyway, I'm going to be glad when this is over and I can go back to lamenting over my weight goals (which btw, I'm still 8-10 lbs from achieving).

Stay strong, get healthy - and let me know if you need some friendly motivation or advice on nutrition or exercise, I'm always happy to help.

Closer and Closer

2010-04-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

Race day is just two weeks away! I'm not ready! And I'm tired of stressing about it, so I'll be happy when it's over.

I've really lacked motivation for training for this, and it's stressed me out (EVERYthing stresses me out). I think not having a training partner really did me in - that and the cold weather. Whatever it was, I just didn't have it in me.

I know I can finish the race, and I'm pretty certain I can run it the whole way through... I just won't make the stellar time I was hoping for - an impressive 1 hr 50 minutes.

I've finally been able to tell myself it's okay. There are other races. Perhaps I can start training in August for the Music City Marathon. That one's a lot easier since it follows the very flat Shelby Bottoms course and there are many many thousands fewer running it. Training for it sucks since it's summer running, however. Then, the actual race is cold as hell in November. But it's my best 1/2 time by far.

It's so good to have goals and support. I'm still working out at work 5 days a week when possible. Sometimes work stuff gets in the way and I have to skip a workout, but I can't even describe how amazingly motivating it is to have such an amazing group of people to work out with. We work so hard together and constantly give positive reinforcement. We can all see the results in each other since we've been doing it for so long, which is very exciting indeed. We love getting newbies to the group if for nothing else than to see how far we ourselves have come!

I'm eternally grateful for this group of friends, and they are equally as grateful. I just wish I had this sort of support for my running. But living way out here, that's a tough thing to come by.

So, I'll get through this race, and move on - congratulating myself that I'm even in a position to run 13 miles, and then move on to preparing for my next goal.

I love meeting people and helping inspiring them to a healthier lifestyle - I feel like it's one way I can give back. I just hope I can muster the strength to work as hard as I can to be a good example.

So... as always... wish me luck... and I wish you great health and happiness..

Silence - read between the lines

2010-03-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

As you've probably guessed, since you're an intuitive and highly intelligent audience, my lack of posting here is a direct result of me not having really much content to post about.

Basically, I have sucketh.

At this point, my "training"for the half is a joke. This is the first race I've trained for by myself, and I guess I'm not so great at self motivating. Or at least I haven't been the past few months.

It's now T minus four weeks and counting until the 1/2. Sam... I know you were counting on me to pace you, buddy, but if I don't get my act together starting NOW, I won't be able to pace anyone :(

My goal for this race started out as running in under two hours, which, if I trained like I did for the last one, no problem. Now, I'm not so certain.

I will say this, however -- I haven't been slacking on exercise at all. I've still been doing the body resistance training program 3 days per week and running at least two days a week. I'm hoping that the amazing core strength I've built up over the past 5 months or so of the resistance training program will help me make up quickly my running training deficit.

That remains to be seen. The race is April 24. Will I be ready in time?????????

*DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN*

Hmm... Need to plan a new route

2010-03-08T16:17:00.000-08:00

Well, like my daddy always said... aim high. First I joined the Air Force. Yesterday I was shooting for a 10 mile run.

Didn't quiiiiiite make it. I identified a few problems with my plan:

1. I have a 5 mile route mapped around the neighborhood that I had intended to do twice. Said route passes by my house 4 times. That's 4 times the temptation to quit.

2. Route also bypasses a cute little Messican restaurant with cute, bright patio furniture that can be seen charming passerby into a margarita and spicy salsa.

Solution:

1. Different route.
2. That doesn't pass restaurants.

So I ran 8 miles, and that last time I passed the house, I felt I was done. Eh, maybe next time. I like Rich's suggestion (very clever, those Brits): Plan a 5 mile route that forces me to run the 5 miles back or else be stranded until someone with a two-seater bicycle passes by.

Today: Putting it out there

2010-03-07T07:43:00.000-08:00

So, planning on a 10 mile run today. I'm putting this in writing so that I actually do it. Otherwise, I can already feel the ebbing motivation, I'll just put the run off altogether, or peter out at around 5 miles. I don't think I'll actually have a fantastic 10 mile run, but I want to get up the distance. I only have 6 more weeks of training, and I feel that if I do a distance run this early, I won't be so daunted by the 7, 8, and 9 milers.

I'll post again later today and detail my progress.

Wish me luck! (and courage and motivation)

My goal is so close I can smell it!

2010-02-25T16:00:00.000-08:00

Finally! I am almost there! My goal was to reach 118 before bathingsuit season. As of today, I'm at 123! I have come such a long way from the 143 where I started. My clothes don't even pretend to fit anymore, so I had to go buy some new ones. Casual and biz, so I can tell you I dropped a few pennies last weekend, but it was so exciting! I've dropped down to a 2 and 4 (you know how sizes are).

But I have a feeling these last few pounds aren't coming off without a fight! That's ok. I'm still exercisting diligently. Besides which I'm also still training for the 1/2 marathon in April.

Training isn't going so well. It's pretty much stalled, in fact, due to inclement weather, illness, and sheer laziness. So I enlisted the help of the ever present fitness support network at work, and convinced a few turkeys to run with me during lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So Tuesday I ran...ish.We were going four miles. Easy right? OMG. It nearly killed me. I developed a horrible stitch in my right side that has yet to go away. I was so discouraged and embarrassed. After all I just ran a 5k a few weeks ago making my best time yet.

Well, the kid was sick today, but this afternoon I took the dog out for a run anyway... and immediately developed a stitch in my left side. WTF? Grrr. No matter, I'll get back on track. I have such a hard time finding motivation when its freezing outside. I am almost always cold, even fully dressed inside. I don't like the cold **pouting**

But I realize that pushing through, especially when I DON'T want to do it the most, is the only way to jumpstart my motivation. That and having friends for accountability. Thanks guys :)

Preds 5K Results

2010-02-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

Despite being taken down a bit under the weather by a sneaky little stomach bug, I did indeed run and complete the Preds 5K race on Saturday. I really wasn't sure if I'd be be up to running at all, but luckily these winter races are held later in the mornings (10am vs. 6 or 7am), so I had time to get up and move before running.

Then it proceeded to spit snow and ice. I figured this would scare off all but the most hardy running enthusiasts, but overall I think there were about 1700 people present, out of 2300 signed up. Not bad! But they wanted those hockey tickets.

The Nashville Predators are our local pro hockey team and the race entry fee included a ticket plus $20 for extras. Several of us from work run races, so we signed up together and Tony sweet talked some smarmy sheila and got us fantastic $100 seats up front! Woot, Tony!

Anyway, I not only completed the whole race, but made my best 5K time to date:

PLACE O'ALL  BIB NO. SEX PLC  NAME         AGE     CHIP TIME

24     283      1402     88   APRIL ULUC   29      27:15

PACE  
 8:48

So, to translate, I made 24th place in my sex/age category, 283 place overall, 88th place of all women, ran 3.4 miles in 27 min 15 sec, which
averages out to an 8min 48sec mile. I"m thrilled that this was my best time, but lament how well i could have done, had I been well. Next
time, Next time!

Week 2 of 1/2 Training

2010-01-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

I completed week one. I was on track, and surprisingly capable. All of the strength and circuit training has really paid off! I was even able to complete my first long run this past Saturday - 6 miles! I did it on the indoor track... 84 short-though-eternal-seeming laps. Whew. My time wasn't great, but it was only my 4th run of the season. Trying to cut myself some slack.

Due to my regular monthly female companion and what I suspect is either a cold or allergies, I have been eating like a pig and lacking energy the past two weeks. Though i have been faithful to my workouts, my diet has suffered some. Thus my weight loss track is still totally off track. I hope to make that up throughout my training, and I think I will. It's just a little frustrating because I'm working so hard. Genuinely working my ass off. I work out twice a day now... once during lunch and 4-6 times per week running after work. I guess it just goes to show how much diet plays a role in daily life.

I'm trying to stay focused. My body is shaping up nicely - my abs (much muscle is hidden under the flab) are starting to look defined, and my shoulders, arms, and back have nice shape too. My legs are strong and I feel that when I run. I just need to get the extra fat off. It will come with work and time.

For now, I'm keeping on... onward!

1/2

2010-01-18T19:07:00.000-08:00

So... I started my 1/2 marathon training today. I'm doing the same plan that I did for my last 1/2: 10 week training plan running 4-6 times per week with two days of cross training. Except, I'm actually going to be doing 5 days of strength/circuit training also during my lunchtime at work. I will run after work with my dog - she seriously needs to get that puppy energy out.

My last race goal was two hours ten minutes. I made it in 2:08. This race (in April) my goal is under two hours, preferably 1:45-1:50. I feel pretty confident becuase i've lost weight and I've been doing strength training which I didn't do my last race. My core is solid, and with all the leg training my legs are pretty solid too.

I can't wait!

Oh - I bought a new scale. The results aren't pretty :(

Hopefully will get back on track with this whole new dimension of exercise.

Onward!

Oops.

2010-01-05T18:57:00.000-08:00

I broke my scale. :(

I stepped on it... it flashed... and then it brokeded.

Accordingly, I have no idea how I'm doing in terms of my weight goal. I don't seem to be regressing. That's cool. I have a sweet little ridge of muscle in my lower abs, right along my pelvic line. Whoah. That wasn't there before. I'm no longer embarassed to do jumping jacks in shorts with other people in the room. Groovy.

I think I'm aaaallllllright. :)

Making it Through the Holidays and Looking Ahead

2010-01-01T10:56:00.000-08:00

There are lots of "tricks" and "tips" out there for making it through the holidays without gaining that seemingly inevitible 5 lbs. Whatever methodology you decide to subscribe to, make sure you've done something. But I think the most important thing to keep in mind is self-forgiveness. It's nearly impossible to keep to a fitness and food schedule and as long as you recognize that you should at least relieve some unnecessary stress.

With the shortened and understaffed (and lack of childcare) past two work weeks, my diet and exercise regimes have suffered. Along with the bonus Christmas parties and get-togethers, the work week is short and the weekends are long. I've managed to sneak in two to four days of workouts the past few weeks, and tried to limit my crap consumption to one crap indulgence meal on any given day but not every day.

My goal for this past week was supposed to have been 125lb, but at least I've managed to mainatain a pretty steady 128. I'm honestly okay with that. It will be a bit of a catch-up, but I have about three or four extra weeks built into my three-month plan for such a contingency.

Today is January. I'm not going to speak of New Year's resolutions, and goals for the inpending 2010. I want goals to be a part of my life every day, not just on special occassions.

January is, however, the signal of the start of my half-marathon training. This three month (10 weeks really) long program is going to prepare me for the very specific race goals I've put in place based on my last race results.

Specifically my half goal is to run the Country Music 1/2 Marathon in April in less than 2 hours. Preferably 1:45-1:50.

For the past 8 weeks or so, I've been working primarily on strength and endurance training 5 days per week. Around mid-January, I'm going to initialize my 1/2 training plan which will cut my strength training down to two days per week. I'm feeling good about this race!

Next week I focus on diet. I know, more or less, what's good for me. But I'm a bit in the dark as to exactly how to compose my diet, and what to eat when, to help me reach my goals. The more involved and intense my fitness goals become, the more I realize that fitness and athletics is a science and requires a good deal of education. This is so much fun!

Weigh-In

2009-12-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

Oops - So I've been busy trying to prepare for my move. Again. That's a story for another blog.

At any rate, I weighed in Monday at 128.2. Woo-hoo!

I've been working out this week pretty hard. I skipped Tuesday, but figure I'll be doing enough exercise this weekend with moving to cover it. I've upped my calorie intake. Last week, I lost more than my target weight for the week, but I felt like shit. I'm going to have to take a look at and adjust my diet for the increased intensity and type of exercise I'm doing. I don't think I had enough water, took in enough protein or calories. I was exhausted to the point of passing out, had headaches all week, and by Thursday and Friday despite working out I felt weak as a kitten.

So I've adjusted and taken in more calories, more water, and more protein. I'm not expecting a 3-4 lb loss next week, but I'll happy to just keep on schedule. I don't like feeling bad and I'm not in a rush to get this fatty fat off.. after all, it took two years to creep on.

On the Road Again...

2009-12-02T18:14:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, folks, I haven't given up. I've been busy with life - crazy how that happens!

Well, let me recap. I spent three months training for a half marathon, with the goal in mind of running it in 2 hours and 10 minutes. The training was grueling, I'm not going to lie. But I went from running 1/8 of a mile, stopping and throwing a crying tempter tantrum in the middle of the bicentennial mall parking lot - to running 13.1 miles. Not only did I make my goal, but I even surpassed it! I ran the 1/2 in two hours and 8 minutes!

I'm really digging this goal stuff.

Having said that and given myself props for acheivng my goal, I must admit that I still didn't make my weight goal. It wasn't until the past 6 weeks that I started losing weight and really getting into shape again. It's been a long arduous road through a very dark and low place. I think what I've learned is that I have to be in the right place (mentally) to achieve said goals. I'm there.

In the past 6 weeks I have:

* Given up booze (during the week)
* started working out 3-4 times per week, doing the following:
- 20-30 minutes of cardio and
- 45 minutes of weight training
* stopped eating out almost completely
* started taking vitamins and St. John's Wort (taking no other medications whatsoever)
* kept my daily calorie intake between 800-1200 (although I really suck on the weekends)

Because of that, I have gone from 140 lbs to 130, as of today!

I have a lot of people to thank - I haven't achieved this on my own. From watching Aydin while I spent countless hours in the gym, to help pacing me during the 1/2, to motivating me towards action and helping me devise my plan - I haven't been alone.

I have started a new program - first day was Monday. It's a very intense program for athletes and I work out 5 days per week. Three days I do the program which is about 45 minutes worth of a series of aerobic and mostly anaerobic body weight exercises - intense as hell. It's awesome because it incorporates several different muscles groups with every exercise so you really get a lot of bang for your buck. But it's not for the weak of heart - or body. It hurts, it's intense, and you do a lot of weird-looking movements that causes people to stare at you funny. But it's awesome. Then, i run two or three days per week. Approx 4 miles. My knee has been acting funny - and hurts - since the 1/2. I may have to get it checked out, or this program will kill me.

My new goal is to reach 118 lbs by the end of 12 weeks. That's about one pound per week weight loss. Easy, right?

Today, I hurt from about ---> here .... down to here _

Anyway... I hope you stay with me and see how I do with my goal. I plan to weigh in every Monday. And if i get up the nerve, maybe posting progress pictures. Here's to achieving goals... Cheers!

I DID IT!!!!!!!

2009-10-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

But first I must apologize to someone.

Myself. And anyone else whose sense of self I've offended.

Today, a dear friend pointed out an error in my judgment, and a flaw in my hopeful progression and frustrating failures. So I hereby promise to stop referring to myself in derogatory terms. It is inconceivably difficult, near impossible, to achieve successful results when you don't have your thoughts on board - as it were. Such negative thinking is poisonous in a subtle and insidious way that infiltrates your unconscious, seeping into your dreams and waking life, until finally you become it... I think therefore I am. I am, and so I am - and that is an incredibly backwards progressive, self-defeating, and self-fulling load of crap trap that I refuse to continue falling into.

Anyway - my gratitude for the mental smelling salts. : )

So! Another 13.1 under my belt! My 10 week training plan definitely paid off. My goal was to run 13 miles in 2 hours 10 minutes... which would put me at a 10 minute mile average. I crossed the finish line at 2 hour2 8 minutes! I have yet to see the official time, however, since the results haven't been posted yet.

I am so proud of this achievement. Not only for the superawesome time - but because I set a goal and blew past it. Because I had a plan, stayed on course, and wasn't disappointed.

Yayyyy me!!!

So... what now????

So Close I'm Smelling My Own Sweat

2009-10-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

The 1/2 is mere days away! I've completed my intense 10-week training plan and I'm more or less ready. I've done two 10 mile runs in the past month. It's painful. But I'll live.

All this is well and great... but there is a glitch. A problem. A kink in my plan. I hardly lost any weight. All in all... 8 lbs. Total.

So now that my running training is over, I'm doing some things differently.

Starting yesterday, I've begun my old workout routine at the tiny little gym at my work. I'll do 30-35 mins cardio, plus 40-45 mins weights 4-5 times per week. Plus a long run on the weekend. I'm also keeping my calorie intake as close to 1200/day as possible.

On top of this, I've quit drinking during the week, keeping booze to a minimum on the weekends as well.

Finally - I've decided to go vegetarian again. All of this is a recreation of my acts and habits from a time when I wasn't a cow.

The goal is 125, but I know me and I won't be content there. I'll prob obsess until I'm 90 lbs, have a twin sister and a nasty coke habit :D

Life is Good.

2009-09-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

So. Did my longest run yet Saturday - 9 miles. Kicked my ass, I'm sorry to say, but did it. We fell short of my 10 minute mile, however. Not by much, probably 11 min mile average. Still not great. This coming Saturday will be a chance to try again since it's the longest run in the entire training plan - 10 miles. This will be the true litmus; how we do Saturday will give us an idea of how we can expect to do during the half-marathon. We've extended our training period, and doing the 1/2 marathon in Nashville on the 18th of October instead of the 1/2 in Murfreesboro on the 3rd of October. The one is Nash is right out our front door and we're well acquainted with the terrain and route along the Cumberland River. I'm getting in much better shape though sadly not losing as quickly as I should be - due to my love affair with food and drink. :)

Still I won't complain. Running 16-22 miles per week is doing it's work, however slowly. As long as I've got my beach bod in time for next swimsuit season I'll be happy. And truthfully I'm not sure I'm ready to endure another tattoo on my side (my reward for reaching my goal weight). But life is good.

What's that? Oh - I said... Life is Good. :)

The Heat Is On!

2009-08-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Jeebus. Who turned on the broiler? I felt like a slab of meat basting in my own juices while the sun turned the paved city into a dutch oven during Saturday's run. Of course... probably if I had gotten up an hour and a half or two hours earlier as planned it would have been OK. I still managed to complete my longest run yet - 7 miles - Saturday morning. But the sun and heat are so draining, even though I carried and consumed my entire water bottle along the way. And yet I crossed paths with many an avid and brave jogger and cyclist at that late hour. Sometimes we nodded or waved in acknowledgment of our mutual suffering, and sometimes when the going was really rough it was all we (or more probably, I) could do to keep standing.

Nah, it wasn't that bad, but it was hot and it was too late to be running. I made it, however. Next Saturday is 8 miles. Paul will yet again be absent for the long run (count them, buddy, I'm 3 long runs and something crazy like 35 total miles up on you!), so I have to find my own motivation... to get out of bed, let alone run that far. The cool thing is that I'm slowly working my way up to the 10 mile run whichis the longest long run in the training plan before the actual half. And every weekend's long run is a mile longer than the previous long run. It's so sneaky! Because I think, oh, I did 7 miles last time, what's one more silly mile going to hurt?! (It can hurt a lot, turns out.)

I was marveling just today about how far I have come. From the girl who got a mile up the road and then sat down and cried with frustration (in something dangerously akin to a temper tantrum) because it was so hard... to me now - the person who looks forward to the challenge of just one more mile.

I'm pretty sure there's a lesson in all of this.

Onward...

The Holistic Approach

2009-08-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

I'm concluding week 3 of 10 for my 1/2 marathon training regime. In setting a goal, I'm focusing on achieving the capability of reaching that goal as opposed to focusing on the way my body looks and changes. Just a different approach to it, really. I anticipate a lot of positive changes to my body - adding strength, tone, definition - as well as myriad general health benefits such as increased endurance, sweet endorphine highs which encourage the ever-elusive act of smiling, for example. And some fringe benefits such as better eating habits, decrease in sloth, greater energy stores, etc. So far so good. I'm sticking to the plan and my early morning 3-4 mile runs are becoming such a cinch.

So I have a plan in motion, am executing said plan, and results are forthcoming. Excellent! Now it's time for Phase II. What's that? You didn't know I had a Phase II? That's because I just decided to add it. I'm going with the holistic approach to wellness.

The signs came at me fast and with flashing lights and horns and whistles. Often they came in the form of strangers in the mall asking me if I disliked shopping. Sometimes in the form a friend, lamenting that I rarely smile these days. Paul is more humorous in his approach, trying to knit his eyebrows and frown deeply for extended amounts of time in imitation of me (he can't do either of these things - I count that a small victory on his part). But the writing is on the wall: I'm unhappy and I ooze unhappiness into the environment around me. I walk around with a frown on my face. And since I don't want karma to bite me in the ass, I'm going to work on that aspect of myself - I want to be a positive motivator to those around me, I want to be useful in society and improve it... not be a negative and dissenting singer in a chorus of malcontent.

I came across a poem by St. Francis of Assisi. I'm not particularly religious, but I dig the spiritual implications, and moreover the positive reinforcement that it contains. I'm going to memorize it and use it sort of as a mantra. When I visited the hypnotherapist, he was very firm in making sure I understood that the unconscious is like a computer terminal: it simply processes whatever information you input. It doesn't distinguish between good and bad behaviors or habits, good or bad thoughts, right and wrong ways of doing things. It doesn't have that responsibility. So I'm going to start catering to my unconscious (fun little fact here: evangelist education institutions are the number one volume purchasers of neurolinguistic hypnosis books... chew on that for a while).

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Onward...

Week two, Long Run two

2009-08-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

So, last week we went shopping for our much-needed new running shoes. I really wanted a good pair of shoes that would go the distance and keep my feet happy at the same time. I read some great reviews about Athlete's House in Belmont and so that's where we went. The staff there were great help; they could find us shoes based on our foot structure and how we ran (roll feet to the outside, for example). After trying on a few brands, I ended up with a fantastic pair of Nike's with extra arch support. OMG. It's as though the shoe was created around my foot. Que magnifique!

At any rate, yesterday was my second long run. With Paul gone, I wasn't sure how my motivation would hold up, but I ended up doing really well. I was supposed to do 5 miles, but did 6. Feel great. This completes my second week of 1/2 marathon training. Eight to go! Next week is going to be the longest yet - 7 miles.

On the weight side of things... eh. Not doing so well. I'm totally stagnant. I think I'm going to run every morning - even on my crosstrain days. The weight loss just isn't happening. I'm trying to be patient, and trying hard not to plunge off the wagon from sheer disappointment. But I'm also trying not to focus on my weight loss as much as I am just trying to focus on the 1/2 training.

And... onward...

First Long Run: Completed!

2009-08-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the first long run of the training plan: 6 miles.

I've been sort of fearing this day all week - the long run. But it wasn't bad at all. Having learned my lesson from last weekend, I hit the sack early enough Friday night to get up before the heat set in Saturday. And we did it.

Running is becoming easier with every passing run day. And the 6 miles Saturday was fantastic and I was fine to keep going. Poor Paul was suffering though, with his back still out, so we called it quits. Only a little bit of soreness in my calves.

We also went to Athlete's House in Belmont and the very nice girl helped us find new shoes that worked well for our gait and feet. I ended up with a pair of very comfy Nike's... I can't wait to try them out.

That will be tomorrow... Today is a day of rest :)

Onward...

Getting Up At 5 am...

2009-07-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

...Isn't so bad. As long as I'm in bed at a decent time. Man... what happened to the ease with which I greeted the day at 5 am regularly in the Air Force? Those days are gone, gone with the wind. Maybe by the end of this 10 weeks (yes, it's 10 weeks until the 1/2 start not 8 - i r smart) it will have become a habit. Hmm...

So this morning I rolled over once and then got up. Hit the pavement by 530. I had split a banana, 1/2 package of jelly belly energy beans, and a glass of water. That was a nice little combo. We did 5 mins of walking/warm-up and then 40 mins (approx 4 miles) of running. Any runner will tell you that there are good running days and bad running days. Today was a good day. 5 am is perfectly cool (or has been lately) and don't have to worry about blinding sunlight. Traffic is minimal, which helps in this urban environment.

Tomorrow is a crosstrain day - weights. I hate when my arms are all spindly and noodle-like so i'll prob spend most of my xtrain days on upper body. My legs feel pretty good for now.

Onward!

Caloric Formula for Weight Loss

2009-07-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

So, since I've made a goal in training for the 1/2, I've been doing a lot of reading up on running (I'm a dork, it's my MO). So far my favorite site is www.runnersworld.com. There are tons of great articles there from motivation to nutrition, to gear recommendations... the site has it all.

I ran across one article on weight loss and how to calculate your caloric needs for losing weight - or even just maintaining. Looks something like this:

your body weight x 13 - 500

for example, at 136 it would be:

136 x 13 = 1768 (so, to maintain 136 lbs i would need 1768 calories per day - that's with minimal exercise)

And to lose 1 lb per week simply subtract 500 calories from your daily caloric intake. You can do that either by cutting back on calories consumed (don't forget to add the calories which you drink as well), or else you can add exercise to burn the excess.

To give you an idea of what that would take, 1 mile of running equals approx a 100 calorie loss.

Happy motivation to you and mucho suerte!

Saturday - 1/2 Training Start Day

2009-07-25T09:59:00.001-07:00

I started my 1/2 marathon training today. I'm following a 10 week plan, but I started a little late - I now have a little over 8 weeks to prepare. I think that'll be okay. Unfortunately, I've become lazy and so didn't get up early enough to beat the summer heat; a mistake I can promise you I won't make in the future. Eighty-five degrees is too hot to run in, for me anyway.

My goal, as I stated earlier, is to make it 13.1 miles in under 2 and a half hours. I ran the last marathon with zero training and two days' consideration in just under 3 hours. I think this is a very feasible goal.

So the plan looks like this:

WEEK 1
MON: 35 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 40 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: Rest
SAT: 6 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 2
MON: 35 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 40 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 5 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 3
MON: 40 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 40 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 7 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 4
MON: 40 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 45 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 8 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 5
MON: 40 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 50 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: Rest
SAT: 6 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 6
MON: 45 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 50 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 9 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 7
MON: 45 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 50 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 10 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 8
MON: 45 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 50 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 8 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 9
MON: 45 min moderate
TUE: 30-40 min XT
WED: 45 min easy
THU: 30-40 min XT
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 6 miles conversational
SUN: Rest

WEEK 10
MON: 40 min moderate
TUE: Rest
WED: 30 min easy
THU: Rest
FRI: 30 min easy
SAT: 15-20 min conversational
SUN: Rest

KEY: CONVERSATIONAL 65-70% of maximum heart rate (max HR) EASY 70-75% of max HR MODERATE 75-80% of max HR XT Cross-training; strength training and/or cardio work other than running and walking, such as cycling, swimming, or elliptical training. Try to stay at 65-75% of max HR WARMUP Walk five minutes at an easy pace before every run COOLDOWN Walk five minutes at an easy pace and stretch after every run

Paul will be running with me most of this... wish me luck!

Great Gatsby, I Gotta Goal!

2009-07-21T19:00:00.000-07:00

So... Still fighting the battle of the bulge, a day at a time. I've taken some advice and decided that I'm going to set a real goal with a real date and a very tangible reward at the end.

There's a 1/2 marathon in Murfreesboro in October. My goal is to run that in less than 2-1/2 hours. I ran the CMM 1/2 in just under 3 hours and that was with zero prep and training. I'm very excited!

I've also decided upon a reward system for myself. When I reach my goal weight of 118 (shut up), I'm going to reward myself with a new tat. I'm already jonsin' for another. Any ideas?!

Update - Where's my Mojo?

2009-06-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

So... here I am. Minus eight pounds from my max weight, but still 15 away from my goal. To give myself some credit, I've lost a lot of inches and gained quite a bit of muscle. Still, I've yet a ways to go.

I can't seem to get my mojo back. When faced with a good looking guy, instead of my inner flirt flitting her way out, instead of pinning him to the spot with my eyes... I find I can't even look him in the eye. All I can think is... look at this beautiful man, and all he sees in front of him is a fat girl. I have to tell you ... this isn't me, and it isn't a good feeling. My friends seem to think I'll get my mojo back. I hope so. It does sort of underline my shallow reliance on looks and physical appeareance to relate to people. I'm going to have to examine that unpleasant aspect of myself at length a bit later.

For now... I'm keeping on. I've got a great groove going consisting of working out after work 4 days per week. I also try to run at least once on the weekend, preferably twice. I'm holding steady at 135, but predict that I'll be dropping at least one pound, but hopefully two this week.

Oh - and I've cut back on beer. Dammit.

I'm a Runner?

2009-06-04T18:45:00.000-07:00

I'm a runner!!! Well... I aim to, at some point, become a runner.

I've decided to become a runner. Not because I love running. I don't really even like running all that much. In fact, I've tried running in the recent past, but that ended in tears and some sort of sick, emotional eating binge. But I've come to realize that running is how I can really get the most bang for my buck, so to speak. I'm all about efficiency, and running works so many things at one time. Plus it burns great calories and costs almost nothing to do it.

Cept for all these races.

Speaking of which, I've now got three races under my belt: I did my first race, a 5K, last Thanksgiving; went straight to doing the CMM 1/2 Marathon (seriously, wtf was I thinking there??); and finally, the Muddy Buddy race last weekend. I've found that races are great motivation to train. In fact, I'm preparing for the 5K Summer Solstice race in a few weeks. This will be the first race that I'm actually training for and I'm excited to see what I can accomplish after really working at it.

I've started going back to the tiny little gym at my office instead of the big fancy gym that I'm still paying for monthly. Since school is out, I changed my work hours so that I'm coming in early and getting out early. So instead of trying to motivate myself to drive alllllll the way to the big fancy gym (by the time I get to the car I just want to go home!), I just trot on downstairs to the work gym. It doesn't have much, but it has everything I need. So far I've been going all week, and I feel great.

I am doing 30 mins on the treadmill, with at least 20 mins of it running and then about 45 mins of weight training. I can feel the difference already. I spend a lot of time on upper body b'c that's my weakest area. And also I want to look good in my tanks this summer. I do abs every day, b'c really, who doesn't need fantastic abs? Besides which, a strong core is important in running.

So ... wish me luck. I'm hoping for a new beginning here. Not just in fitness, but also emotional health and overall wellbeing in life.

<3

Minor Setback

2009-05-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

So, I had my wisdom teeth [painfully] extracted Friday, with the thought that I'd have Memorial Day weekend to recover. Turns out, it hurts like a bitch for a reallllllly long time. I've been reduced to soft, mushy, and liquids. First few days was protein drinks. Not bad. Then I found I could slurp pasta. That's when it got bad. Then ice cream. Not good at all.

So, day 5 of MORTAL F'G PAIN which makes me want to have my head surgically removed, and I think I'm not doing great diet-wise. Going back to work tomorrow, so gonna try to get back on track. I guess i could try to exercise. Maybe I'll walk the 2-1/2 mile track around Nissan that I generally run.That'll be a start. It's hard to want to do anything, dealing with pain like this.

Pain. It sucks. Follow? From my throat, up to the top of my head, it hurts a lot. Anyway... minor setback. Will get back on track ASAP. Whenever SAP is.

It's Working!

2009-05-17T15:46:00.001-07:00

All this work of counting calories, keeping my detailed spreadsheet... is indeed paying off!

I was feeling rather skinny this morning.... so I stepped upon the Dread Scale. And sure enough... 135!!! OMG!

I think I've made it over the hump. I'm taking my daily (gummie) multivitamin, taking a dietary supplement (Xenadrine12) 2-3 times per day, drinking a 110 calorie 17g protein EAS protein drink twice a day, working out with my trainer twice a week, doing other working out 2-3 days/week, and keeping my daily caloric intake (after accounting for exercise) between 7-800/day.

Whew. It better be freakin working!

Steady As She Goes!

2009-05-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

Still counting calories daily on my home made Google docs spread sheet. Still doing my personal training sessions twice a week. Keeping at it.

I've gone back to spinning... twice I went this week. It kicks my ass -- and I love it. I get into this sort of trance. It's dark in the ceilingless, conchshell-like pseudo industrial room. There are 22 close spaced bikes arrayed in a semi-circle lining the circular walls where 22 panting, heaving, sweating bodies emit hot stinking air at the instructor whose bike faces the room. The music isn't always great, but it always has a great beat and it's always loud. Peddaling is really all you're thinking about anyway.... the position of your body while you're seated, the tension in the bike when you're standing, elbows wide, chest out, hammies taking some of the work from the quads.

So there you are, drenched in sweat, tied by the desire to feel pain, to everyone else in the room, pushing yourself and nothing to do but breathe... pedal... adjust... and pretty soon you're pedaling to the beat of the music, lost in it, lost track of time, lost track of the pain and desire to quit...

It's powerful.

INCHES!!!!

2009-05-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day... today was the day that Jessica took my measurements.

Gulp.

We did this in the beginning, six weeks ago. It wasn't pretty. I wasn't hoping for much, I mean, I knew I'd lost some fat in my legs because my pants are fitting my legs better. But my waist? My fatty fat fat arms? Not so much.

But surprise of all surprises!!!! So my measurements looked like this:

arms: - 2 in.
chest: - 1-1/2 in
waist: - 3 in (OMG?!!!)
hips: - 1-1/2 in (eh, can't win em all)
thighs: -2 in
calves: + 1 in

I know, they're pretty small numbers, but inches really add up. My weight has only dropped by about 3 or 4 lbs, but it's because I've gained so much muscle. Progress! Finally!!

Now, as a side note, regarding my diet, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. I've begun keeping a spreadsheet of my calorie intake, as well as calculating my calories burned from exercise. So with exercise and diet control, I estimate that I'm taking in between 740 - 800 calories per day.

Not bad :)

Plus Im taking Xenadrine12 diet supplement, in a drink packet form that I think is really helping. If nothing else, I have to drink 3 16 oz bottles of water per day with that nasty drink packet in it, and jsut drinking that fills me up - so I don't feel like I'm starving or anything.

I've been keeping my eating under control, as well as my cravings - and I've been exercising much more regularly. I expect to see another great leap in progress over the next six weeks!

1 Week Later - Post Marathon

2009-05-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

Sadly, I haven't run again yet. I got a blister or something underneath the big toenail on my left foot. It's gross and hurts like a bitch. I worked out with Jessica on Tuesday, despite my gimp toe and we worked legs (DAMMIT!!!), and I got through it ok. But PMS is cramping my style, and all I have the energy for is dropping into bed when I get home.

My intention was to run during my lunchtime yesterday, but it was a monsoon outside, so I worked out in the gym at work instead. I actually had a great workout. I hope to get out and do some cardio this weekend as well, weather permitting. My goal is to do 3-6 miles 5 times a week once my stupid toe heals.

Progress update:

though stepping on the scale seems to yeild ZERO results, my clothes tell a different story. Though not dramatic, my pants are all becoming lose in my legs and hips, which is always where I'm most self conscious. Yay!

Side note:

The Hydroxycut I've been taking seems to help. I drink a packet 3 times per day with 16oz water before I eat - naturally that alone makes me want to eat less. Also, I've cut back my calorie intake to around 1000 per day or so... um... usually. :) I found out yesterday, however, that Hydroxycut has been recalled by the FDA. Bummer. I'm still gonna use it. Mostly the recall is just precautionary. Stubborn, I know.

Running A Half-Marathon: New Lessons I Learned, and Some Old Ones Which Beg Revisiting

2009-04-25T17:24:00.001-07:00

New Lesson #1 from running a half marathon:

People train for these for a reason. Training is essential.

New Lesson #2:

Deciding to run 13 miles two days before the race while never having run more than a 5K ever - in my life - not such a fantastic idea.

New Lesson #3:

Having my Nazi trainer tell me to load up on carbs is AWESOME!

New Lesson #4:

I am physically capable of amazing things - much despite my own powerful self doubt.

Revisted Lesson #1:

Recovery from physical exertion that my body isn't used to... sucks.

Revisted Lesson #2:

Family/friend support is priceless in the face of daunting endeavors.

Revisted Lesson #3:

What a freaking awesome feeling to do something that causes most people to look at me askance and question my mental stability!

Revisted Lesson #4:

Preparation is key; I think because of all my last-min prep work, this was the most comfortable run that it could have been (under the circumstances)

Revisted Lesson #5:

Life is good.

What an awesome time. I don't know that I'll ever do it again... but I may. I did such a great job, considering that I made such a last minute decision, and I have had no training. I ran faithfully, at a pretty super fantastic pace for the first 7 miles. After that my performance went downhill, though still not horrible until around the 10 mile mark. My feet and ankles were on fire. My breathing, which has always been my greatest obstacle wasn't even a thought for me. But my body gave out first. I kept running through to the 11 mile mark, but I was in so much pain, I had no choice but to obey my body. I ended up walking the rest of the entire two miles, except i managed to limp/run the last 1/8 mile or so to the finish. My walking pace was disasterous, and I'm certain I was doing a 10-12 minute mile before that, but walking (nay, gimping along) I prob ended up doing 16-18 min miles those last two, which I know really killed me.

Oh, and I took a Gu (a sports gel pack) at the 7 mile mark when i felt myself losing energy, and that shit cramped my stomach to hell... I had to find a porta potty fast, and I was in there for a while. That certainly didn't help my time :( Stupid Gu.

All in all, there was so much room for improvement. Regular training/running would have gotten me through that last stretch, despite the evils of Gu (def sticking with my Jelly Belly sports beans next time, even if they take up too much room in my little pouch). My time was 2 hours 54 minutes, but if I kept the 10-12 min pace I had during the first 8 mile of the race, I would have finished it in 2 hours 10 minutes.

So many lessons learned.

I am so proud of myself, first for even trying, second for pushing through to the end; after all, approximately 10,000 people didn't finish the race at all! (Oh, and sadly, one guy crossed the finish line then dropped dead :( :( :( ). Right now, about 7 hours after I finished all my walking for the day, my arches are aching, my knees on fire, and my glutes want to charlie horse whenever I take a step. But was it worth it??

Hell yah.

Keeping On

2009-04-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like I've been doing very well lately.

I have stuck to the diet better than I thought I might, but not perfectly (almost perfectly). And I haven't been as diligent with working out as I should.

I ran today, and I plan on running every other day during lunch at work - I can't run every day, I have to go to the tanning bed too :)

There are only so many hours to get it all done. Whew.

My First Hypnosis Session

2009-04-18T16:57:00.000-07:00

I suppose anyone who walks into a hypnotist's office will bring a whole boatload of preconceptions with them.

I know I did.

Even though I had read through the website, read through the common misconceptions section and the FAQ section, I still had some type of thought as to how it was going to go. Well, this guy, Steve, is pretty good. He's the only "conversational" hypnotherapist in all of Tennessee, and what that means is that he had been working on us the moment we walked through the door. According to Steve, we had been in a light trance as soon as he began talking to us.

Hypnosis is a fascinating study and manipulation of the mind. It's a science, it's not magic nor mysticism, but an actual recognized science by all reputable medical and psychological communities. Which is why I respect it, since I'm the least mystical person I know.

It was very cool, talking to Steve one-on-one and trying to pick out when he was using some method or other to "manipulate" my thinking. Truthfully, I couldn't pick out anything, except that he would laugh often while talking to me. I realized right away that this was a methodology, because the only other answer is that he was a nervous and unconfident person and that just didn't fit. So... as soon as we walked in, he sat down with both Paul and I (this is when the "conversational" hypnotherapy started) and began speaking to us about misconceptions regarding hypnosis and types of things we could expect. Then he spoke to Paul for about an hour before it was my go.

I sat in a comfy, worn leather arm chair, the type of comfy thing that a sports enthusiast will play his armchair sports in. Then he began to talk to me about why I was there, what I wanted. Then he gave me two very important exercises to practice at home - fuel on the fire, he called it -- I would see results from hypnosis without doing the exercises, using the tools, but if I practiced them, then it would be adding fuel to a fire. They are simple exercises that conditions the mind, and with time literally and physically re-wires the neural synapses and changes the conditioned responses through physiology to certain situations. Those two exercises alone were worth what I paid for the session.

Then he began to "put me under" -- which now is such a silly term.... but excuse me I get ahead of myself. Steve is an amazing guy, and extremely well-learned in his field. He uses many different techniques of hypnosis, and one of those is a sort of speech pattern. So as we began he altered his voice a bit so that it became sort of rythmic and almost monotone and at certain points he would tap one finger onto my hand. He told me before we started that the right forefinger would raise when asked a question and the answer was yes. So he began with having me visualize stairs. Twenty steps down and at the bottom of the stairs there was a door. And on the other side of the door was my goal. So he spoke and walked me down...deeper... deeper... deeper into my mind... (seriously, that's how it went - and every time he said "deeper" my stomach would growl, freaking starving and it was sort of an odd kind of reaction, i think).

At first he had me focus my eyes on a corner in the room... telling me my eyelids were getting heavier. Which they weren't. So he told me ... yah, go on and close your eyes. Oops. So I did and I guess I didn't quite "go under" well enough because he had me open my eyes, focus on the ring on his finger as he held it in front of my face and moved his finger downwards, and then my eyes closed. We did this about 4 times before he seemed satisfied.

After I suppose I was sufficiently "under" he proceeded to speak to me. Now... I have to tell you that I felt as "under" anything as I feel right now. I mean... I felt like I was in a room. With a dude speaking to me in chant. With my eyes closed. But as he spoke to me, despite the fact I was thinking... oh shit this isn't working, I must SUCK at this... I began to intentionally make the visualizations he presented... such as weeding a garden... such as walking down stairs... such as opening a door.. .things like that. It was hard, I have to tell you and I could barely focus on the tasks. He continued to ask me to DO things in these visualizations, such as taking the thing or things that presented difficulty to me (I'm totally paraphrasing, I barely remember the exact things he was saying and i was doing), wrap it up, imagine it being smashed by a trash compactor (which was akward since these "things" were people) and gone forever.

At this point he asked me to raise my right forefinger, as he instructed me earlier, when I had completed this task. Caveat: I was not allowed to consciously move my finger. I was not allowed to raise my finger and say... okay... I"m done. In fact, my unconscious had to do that task. He told me from the beginning, that if my mind wanders, fine. He wasn't talking to me anyway, he was talking to ME - my unconscious mind.

Now, I swear to all that is good and holy, I gave no thought to moving my finger. I just sat there. My finger moved. The one that was supposed to raise... when I finished my visualization, it raised. And he moved on. I was to replace that thing, or those things, which I had banished from my mind, with something good, something I *WANTED* to replace it with. So I did. And when I was done with that, when I had installed in this NEW goal... or idea... I was to raise my finger. And ... freaking magically?!!... my finger raised. And he moved on.

It was so cool!

I have to emphasize here, that I was as alert and cognizant as I am now (take that as you will), so that my finger was moving is still the craziest thing to me. Truely, he wasn't speaking to me, but he was speaking to ME and ME was signaling that I got the message and ME was responding. How freaking awesome!

At any rate, we went through some things, and then he informed me that he would count backwards from 10, and I would find my self giggling (at that very moment I had the uncontrollable urge to giggle and I coudln't fight it), and then by the time he got to 6, he said I would giggle throughout the rest of the countdown and by the time he got to 1, I would be in a full laugh. And that I would find myself, at various times and for no apparent reason, giggling for the next few weeks. And sure enough, I giggled as he finished bringing me out of the hypnotic state until it became a full guffaw. And as he talked to me about subsequent sessions, I couldn't stop laughing.

And for anyone who knows me... I am NOT a random gigglebox.

So... I am not disappointed and my cycnicsm has disappated. I've felt good all day, though a bit wiped out from starvation (went to Earth Day and packed some food but not enough) and sun.

Next session is next week... he thinks he can help me with a LOT of stuff. Things are looking up! :)

Nashville Hypnosis

Bare Bones Diet Day 5

2009-04-17T18:00:00.001-07:00

That's what I'm calling our diet now... bare bones due to it's not having a whole lot of flavorful flair. But honestly that's more of a description than a complaint. Seems like the less flavor there is, the better it is for me and the better I feel it doing my body.

This diet is a lot of work, and I wasn't totally prepared; I had to stop at the groc store once this week and here it is Friday and we barely made before running out of fresh stuff. Obviously groc shopping will be an adjustment. Luckily we live within walking distance to the farmer's market and the produce there is top rate. I like the idea of supporting local farmers, and with all the cash we're going to unload on fresh stuff alone... they're going to want our business.

I still enjoy the diet - I like grazing all day without ever feeling hungry or too full. And because I never feel hungry or full, that's one less stress factor (however small) on my plate (so to speak). I like the direction this is taking.

I feel like my clothes are fitting better already - my pee schedule is crazy from all the water I'm drinking, but I spose that's a good thing too. I've gotten compliments on my figure and as long as no one is telling me what I desperately want to hear just because I'm so desperate to hear it... this is also a good thing.

All in all, things are looking up - the mental fog has lifted and the world is a brighter place - and I'm a brighter person in it. Everyone around me is responding to me in the way that I'm used to. I feel like they want to be around me, and that I can be an enrichment to other's lives again - that's the April I love and miss.

Tomorrow is the hypnotherapist appointment. I'm not certain I'll undergo a real 'session', but probably more of a getting to know what you want introductory session. We'll see. I'll update tomorrow.

For now... <3

Good Food Feels Good

2009-04-13T19:25:00.001-07:00

So - started The Diet today. I've been very excited about it, since I've come to realize that this is probably where I have been failing in my efforts. Emotional eating is a part of the cycle, and hard to break.

It's a lot of work to prepare all of the food for the next day - considering you're eating about 6 times and most of that time is spent at work. But it was well worth it.

I enjoyed eating often and little - I never felt famished, or full. Just satiated. Near the end of the day, I tallied all of the food I had eaten throughout the morning and afternoon, and I felt like a pig! So i forwent my last snack before my gym workout. Big mistake. I barely had the energy to push through my spin class. I was skeptical as to whether I would lose enough weight quickly enough on a 1700 calorie diet - and now I'm starting to feel pretty good about that amount and I'm seriously going to make sure I get enough tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a session with Jessica, and she's NOT going to take it easy on me just because I didn't eat enough.

My goal is hit the sack by 10, and up again by 5:30 am to do a quick 2 mile run through Centennial park with enough time to get back, eat breakfast, and get ready for the day. I'm not a good morning exerciser, so this is going to be a very very tough transition.

Wish me luck!

Disappointment's Remedy

2009-04-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

I was so disappointed to have missed the hypnotist, that I found a hypnotherapist nearby and now we're scheduled for an appointment next Saturday.

I'm now I'm very excited again, and still somewhat apprehensive, due to my cynical nature and whatnot. But I have hope again.

I'm amazed at how having hope alone is enough to keep me going.

So if you're also interested or curious about hypnosis as an approved scientific method, here's the website for the guy we're seeing on saturday:

http://www.nashvillehypnosis.com/

<3

Disappointment is a Way of Life

2009-04-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

There's something to be said for being a cynic and a pessimist. Disappointment is a much weaker enemy.

So the hypnosis session was too full and we'll have to try again next time.

Bummer.

Hypnosis?

2009-04-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

So today I'm undergoing a hypnosis session where the hypnotist will influence my subconcious to do the following:

* Eat less and be satisfied with less food.
* To exercise on a regular basis and to enjoy that exercise.
* To drink more water and learn to enjoy the taste of it.
* To lower tension and stress
* To become more relaxed and get a good night's sleep every night.
* To start losing weight immediately so that I can achieve my goal of 10, 20, 30, 40 lbs, etc.
* To stay in control of my own emotions.

Unconventional? Sure. But if you know me, can you really say you're surprised? Hypnosis isn't magic,it's science,so I'm willing to give it a try.

I'll let you know how it goes; I'm anxious to see results,but healthily skeptical since it seems to me that if this were such an amazing miracle cure, it would be more widely practiced.

Revving Up

2009-04-04T17:35:00.000-07:00

So, bad news is that not enough peeps signed up to warrant a boot camp class at the gym. Good news is that we got an even better deal with a trainer, one on one.

Jessica is going to meet with me twice a week for 12 months - 96 sessions. Also, she'll give me a workout plan for the other days when I'm not training with her, a diet plan, and took my measurements... and I got a cool tank top :)

I've had a few sessions with her already, but that's all messed up because the fam is taking a vacation starting tomorrow through Wednesday. So... the diet and exercise thing will be difficult, at best. My next session with her is that Thursday when we get back. Hopefully that will give me time to recuperate.

My body... well... it hurts. A lot. Jessica pushes me hard, because I want results. We do horrible things like jumping jacks, hopping on one foot or two feet, agility exercises, jump rope, squats, lunges... everything I hate!

However... the sessions are only 30 minutes long. I mean, don't get me wrong, half way into the session I have sweat dripping into my eyes and I've downed half of my water bottle; but she forgot to mention a few things to me. Like the fact that I should also be doing about 30 mins of cardio on the days that I meet with her. She forgot to mention that. And she keeps forgetting about my diet plan. And she keeps forgetting to tell me about my exercise plan. Oops!

Anyway... this vacation means that it's going to be a little longer before I start making progress. I will keep updating the blog, though I'm not looking at my weight for a while. I"m going to measure progress in terms of endurance and how well my clothes fit me. Right now, I look like a fucking whale in everything that I own - the few articles of clothing that I can actually wear.

Onward...

p.s. the f***g pool is already open. I hate ... well, everything.

Fizzzz....z.z.zzz..zzzlllllee...Ppssssshhht.. BOOM

2009-03-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Yah. That's me, and this whole thing crash and burning.

Done. Obviously this endeavor is way beyond my own limited capabilities.

So... enter BOOT CAMP.

For the next 6 weeks, I will endure the punishing routine of an uberfit short and stocky little blonde thing called Jessica. Today was a little teaser class and she nearly killed me.

Here's a rundown of boot camp:

* 18 total sessions
* 3 days per week
* 1 hour per day
* an "off-schedule" workout plan
* customized diet plan
* body fat, weight measurements
* before/after pics
* and a FREE T SHIRT
(oh, and $300 lighter in the wallet region)

So. Whatever. If it works it's worth it. Otherwise, I will murder and burn the body of cute little Jessica and call Fate a whore (it's my fallback threat and excuse).

We shall see. I currently despise my reflection in the mirror.

On the bright side, I got some extra cute new glasses that make me look like a librarian when I'm all done up, and a very naughty little girl when I wear pigtails.

Maybe no one will even notice the girth of my ass, in these. That's the strategy for now, anyway.

So I will do a posting for every session - after this one, expect 18 postings. Jessica told me not to even step on a scale during this six week period. So all I will have to talk about is my body giving out and hopefully a loose waistband.

Day Zero.

Progress Update

2009-03-13T10:03:00.001-07:00

Not much to report, really.

I started at 143

As of this morning: 139

Don't be so quick to congratulate me. Although it's been a long time since I've seen 130-anything on the scale, it's not necessarily here to stay. Though doing spin a few times a week and then letting Paul beat up on me is, admittedly, doing quite a number upon my appetite.

I'm also taking diet pills - when I remember. But, mysteriously, I've been quite noxious for weeks now. Hmmm...

Anyway, hope I keep up the trend... only 19 lbs to go...

Tentative Celebration

2009-03-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

Zumba, while being a freaking blast, alas, doesn't meet my fat-assness needs.

Spin, however... holy hell, spin is a demon on crack, wearing squishy cycling shoes and a sweat-drenched sports bra.

If Zumba induces a slightly sweaty under-boob, spin has me soaked from headband to toe lint. It's a solid hour of frenetic stationary bike cycling, going up hills, down hills, sprinting straighway, rolling hills, and jumps. My arse is tender after every class, even tho I've spent half of it out of the "saddle" either "jogging", standing up and pedding, or bent over the bike, in "third" position - body positioned over the handlebars.

It burns approx 800 calories. Holy shit, that's a Whopper!!!

So, doing that 3-4 times per week has helped tremendously. I still feel like a baby Beluga on a bike, but at least the scale reflects progress.

Early last week Paul worked me out with weights and his new "300" (the movie with those fucking hot dudes in breastplates and skirts) anaerobic workout. Not realizing that I am in way more horrible shape than either of us could have imagined, I was subsequently nearly immobile for the next 5 days. I've slowly reintroduced weights back into my workout and I'm feeling pretty good, phyically speaking.

In case you ready my other blog... mentally not doing so great, but at least I should be ready for summer. Hopefully I'm not vacationing in a dark, padded room at that point...

Hey... trying to stay positive.

Yayyy!!!

2009-02-18T20:08:00.000-08:00

Finally!!! Progress!!!

So... I had an emotional breakdown the other day. When I realized I couldn't run. I mean... I tried... but I am in such horrible shape that I failed. So I sat down under a lamp post and cried my eyes out.

Then I got up and walked home.

And decided that I was done feeling sorry for myself.

I've changed everything. I've made a commitment to a diet and exercise plan.

And so far... I've lost 3-4 lbs. In less than a week.

I'm on my way thanks to some vitamins, nutritional supplements, a more regimented diet plan, and regular exercise.

Celebration will truly begin when I sustain and maintain my weight loss. But at this point, I am so desperate for any weight loss, I'm ready to take this as a sign of victory.

Caution, padawan, caution...

Progress

2009-02-08T11:36:00.001-08:00

...basically there is none. At all.

Loser!

2009-01-29T20:53:00.000-08:00

So I've lost....

...

......

...........

1 lb.

Anticlimactic, no?

Getting there, getting there. I can feel the bod tightening up. Joining this gym was the best thing I could have done. I love these classes... it really motivates me to keep going. I'm still head over heels in love with Zumba... dancing and hip swaying... dude I'm so there!

Although the 1 lb thing is sorta depressing. I think maybe I should only weight myself once per week. I shall ponder that.

Progress?

2009-01-20T19:02:00.000-08:00

I'm almost afraid to say the word for fear of jinxing myself. But joining the gym seems to have been the way to go. I've been every day (except last Friday) since joining. I love the classes and the variety keeps me going back. So far I've done Zumba! a couple of times, yoga, and pilates. This is my first time for all of these activities, and I love them all!

Aydin loves going to the childcare room and has even made fast friends with the fitness guy, Brock -- he hugs him every time he sees him... bizarre.

I'm feeling better, full of energy and motivation. I know I know... I"m sure as the newness wears off, the excitement will diminish; but i still hope to keep at it.

So... I'll report back here when I lose my first five pounds. And I'll reward myself with some relaxing tanning sessions during my lunch hour at work. Wooot! ON my way! Finally!

Zumba!

2009-01-16T08:25:00.001-08:00

So... with some prodding from Kathy and Nick, I checked out a local gym. I have to say this is the coolest gym. It used to be an old movie theatre that they have rehabbed. The inside is very modern and comfy; there is low lighting in nearly every place. When you walk in, is a smoothie bar, and they're only $4-5 per. Very reasonable. Then there's the childcare area, which got Aydin's seal of approval. The big room with the mirrors for classes (we'll come back to that). Then there's this kind of snail shell type room, where you walk this narrow, spiral corridor into the spinning room... with low-strung, low light lightbulbs and 22 bikes crammed into the space. The music is loud and pumping. I love this room.

There are 3 giant cardio areas. One area has cardio equipment facing a huge wall with about 10 big flat screen tv's. You can plug in your headphones to the machines and tune into one of the tv's. Another room is upstairs and overlooks the weight room below (yummy eye candy!), plus has little tv's in each of the machines for you to watch in case the eye candy gets boring. The last cardio room is my fav! It's very dark, as are all of the cardio rooms for tv watching, but this one more so. They left the original movie theatre screen/projector up, took out the theatre chairs and replaced them with cardio machines. So, they are tiered, like stadium-seating theatres, and they play Netflix movies all day every day. Freaking awesome.

So, as I mentioned there's a huge weight room, broken up into machines and free weights. Plus there's another area upstairs that's upper body machines. The last area is a sort of free area... with a big mat in the floor for stretching or whatever. There's also boxing bags and gloves for use. There's a section within this section for circuit weight training: a series of 10 machines for people who want to do a weights workout, but don't want to have to think about how to put it together. I did this last night. It was okay, but i'm not a huge fan of weights machiens anyway - I prefer free weight exercises.

So... that's the overview of the gym layout... they also have trainers of course, and 3 massage therapists who work in ambiance in soundproof rooms...ooh la la!

Last night I attended my first class -- Zumba! It was a blast! Zumba! is an infusion of group aerobics and Latin dancing. The music was mostly modern Latin/Dance/Techno, very fast with a lot of traditional Latin sounds. The moves incorporated Cha Cha, Foxtrot, Mumbo, Salsa, Merengue (sp?), etc. OMG so much fun! I know I looked like a total dork doing it because I could barely keep up, but I don't care. I'm doing another Zumba class on Saturday, preceeded by a Pilates Infusion class. I'm very excited about this.

And if I were to mention to you the cost of membership... you'd move out to Franklin for that alone.

Oh - in addition to this little deliscious morsel, I've also gone off my meds. I feel good and have so much more energy than I have in the past 6-8 months of taking my meds.

Experiment number 12309432093439439023 (oh and still not drinking!)

ZUMBA!!!!!

Day...whatever... no booze...

2009-01-13T19:16:00.000-08:00

And I've lost exactly

0

pounds.

ZERO.

Experiment not going so well... except that maybe at the end of my trial period (Valentine's Day to be exact) I can go back to being an almost-alkie.

Well, I guess that should be enough to make me :)

Hello, My Name is April...

2009-01-08T21:36:00.001-08:00

...and I'm NOT an alcoholic!! Woohoo!!!

I've been clean for 5 days. Not a single sign or shake from withdrawls. I thought I'd be curled up in a fetal position sucking my thumb right now, or at least would have given in. But no. I'm perfectly fine.

I do, however, seem to have found a replacement... my new vice: Sprite Zero. Zero carbs, zero fat, zero sugar. Can't beat that and it satisfies my desire for bubbles and beverage. So I'm good, really.

I haven't seen any weight loss yet... still waiting...

Booze is OUT

2009-01-04T14:01:00.000-08:00

Yep - for the next 6 weeks... that's 42 days... 1,008 hours... Okay you get the point. Since my weight loss is going horribly (in fact I've only been gaining still and now I'm at the heaviest i've ever been outside of pregnancy), I figured I'd cut out the booze for a while and see how that goes. I've been running almost every day before work for the last week. I've been trying to cut back on crappy foods. And yet, I'm seeing zero progress.

So I decided to do some research and see exactly how much my beer intake is hurting me (I switched to light beer, dammit!).

And here's what I found out:

Regular beer is about 150 calories per serving, where light beer is from 90-110 cps. Red wine is around 90 calories in a glass, and white is from 75-80 (over 100 for sweet whites). Liqueurs are carb heaveyweights, with around 180-190 per 1.5 oz.

And I always thought that alchohol precipated the metabolic rate. Turns out it does. However (and this is a big BUT[T]), the alcohol replaces fat as an energy source, so instead of burning fat colories, your body will use the alcohol as energy. Drinking after working out is even worse because your body will convert the alcohol into acetate even faster and still isn't burning fat.

SOOOooo... I've been sabotaging myself in two ways by drinking as much as I do. So, instead of trying to cut alcohol consumption, I'm cutting it out completely. For 6 weeks, and then I'll evaluate at that point. I know myself well enough to know that right now I won't be able to just limit my drinking to weekends and such.

Let's see how this goes... SOMEthing has to work... :(

Not So Much Surviving the Holidays

2008-12-28T21:21:00.000-08:00

In fact, I'd say I am totally bombing. Every week I'm up a pound or two. I think my medication is making things difficult for me; my energey levels are constantly low.

But then again to be perfectly honest, I still haven't committed to a regular diet/exercise routine. My diet is all over the place, and exercising is still rather sporadic. Luckily I've spent a lot of time at Paul's and he has been motivating me to multi-mile runs and we did about 12-15 miles on the bikes Saturday. Despite his constant efforts, the scale reads larger numbers every time.

I won't call it a New Year's resolution... but I really do hope to be back on track after all of these holiday parties and goodies are good and gone. And I need to cut back on the alcohol. Damn I love beer!

Anyway, I'm still heavier than I've ever been before (pregnancy aside) and I'm not thrilled about it. Well, wish me luck... or rather... wish me mounds of willpower...

Surviving the Holidays

2008-11-30T08:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't seem to be making much progress weight-wise, but I hope it's just melting off subtly and slowly (rather than not at all).

Turkey day this year was a bit different. Paul and I woke up early as hell and did a 5K charity race for Habitat for Humanity. This was my first event of this type and it was a blast! I actually ran the entire 3 miles, stopping briefly twice. I couldn't have done it without Paul's motivation. Kathy did her share by running just ahead of me, and I didn't want to fall too far behind so I was so proud that I kept her in my sight the whole time (cept for maybe the last few hundred yards at the end). It was so much fun we thought we might do another 5K that's going on in downtown Nashville this coming Friday... and maybe even a Christmas Day race...

So I didn't really overdo the Turkey and trimmings, thankfully, but I certainly did fill up. So on Saturday, we decided we'd continue the streak and so we got up early and ran 3 miles downtown. It was cold, but well worth it.

I'm hoping to see some improvement in my size soon. I'm starting to become more than a little frustrated with my lack of progress. I've tried to keep an eye on my portions, and such. There's been a lot of stress lately, what with my car dying on me and taking on a car payment. I try to keep it all in perspective.

On another note... my child is becoming progressively more chubby. I really need to get him involved in something active. Trying to get him to do anything very active is like pulling teeth, unless he's doing it with other children. I guess I need to find a team sport for him to get involved with, something that will keep him consistently active and moving... and something that I can actually get him to after work :( Scheduling sucks when you're a single parent...

At any rate... I've been counting my blessings this holiday season and trying to keep a positive perspective on life. After all, I am truly blessed in so many ways, and have some wonderful people in my life who help make me that way.

I found it!

2008-11-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

My willpower! I found it!

Oh, wait... shhhhh... it might hear me and run away...

**whispers**

So, I'm on my third straight workday of two-mile runs! Friday was the first. I did the whole two miles. I'm reluctant to say I "ran" two miles, because it was more of a jog-shuffle-walk-moan type thing. However, Monday I ran more of the two miles, and by today I only stopped to walk twice!

The first two days were nice and I ended up shedding my warm outerwear down to my tank top, however, today was colder than a witches' tit which seemed to make the run easier. I had on a fleece jacket, fleece head band (to cover ears), and fleece gloves. I was more than fine and even eventually ended up shedding my gloves.

I'm managing to do this on my lunch break, so I'm taking a towel with me so I can shower. I have just enough time. The bad thing is that I'm not getting my weights in. But I figure Aydin is going to go home with a friend on Mondays and a different friend on Wednesdays, so I will have plenty of time to get a quick weight routine in at least two days a week after work... better than nothing.

I still haven't lost any weight according to the scale, but I'm definately trying and am on my way. The depression diet didn't work at all like I hoped it would. Guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way... diet and excercise.

*sigh*

C'est le vie

I suck

2008-11-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

I have no willpower and I suck. On the bright side, I feel like I'm coming out of my year-long descent into depression. That may or may not have to do with me upping the dosage of my meds :)

Either way, I've begun running after work. I got up to two miles and then I had to take a few days off because I could no longer walk. Pu**y. Eh, I'll get there. A coworker invited me to participate with her in a 5K run on Thanksgiving day. Since I have no plans and really want to make NONE (bah humbug), I think that would be awesome. So my goal is to be able to run up to 3 miles (5k-ish) by Thanksgiving. That's right around the corner, so I'll have to really work to achieve it in time.

Paul clued me into some electrolyte/energy stuff called Gu. I'm not familiar with the world of supplements, so I was pleasantly surprised by this find. Today I loaded up on Gu and Jelly Belly electrolyte/energy beans, and I'll try them out during the work week.

Okay, take 105,129 *sigh*

Busy Week

2008-10-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, So today is... Wednsday. I'm still sore from my Monday workout. Tuesday I had to scrap in order to run errands, and today was an abbreviated 30 minute cardio workout. Still better than nothing and I was sweating and starving at the end of it.

Tomorrow I won't be working out b'c I have to be at the tat parlour by 6 for my new tat! Yay!

And... Friday is Halloween... will be busy trickor' treating and getting ready for a Halloween party afterward...

Saturday... horseback riding... a workout is doubtful.

Sunday... possibly a workout.

The big challenge now, really, is trying to keep the holiday goodies' gorging to a minimum. I might be happy to just maintain my weight until January!

Still, onwards...

Revving Up

2008-10-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, today is Sunday. I've been to the gym 4 days this week, a day shy of my 5 day goal, however, I'm planning on hitting it this morning before church.

CHURCH?????

I know what you're thinking: My god, April, the walls will crumble down upon you if you dare enter such a holy place!

Crazy, but Aydin has been very interested in God lately. I've asked him, but haven't gotten any straight answer about why. So I figure it's my parental duty to encourage his spiritual curiosity and growth. We'll go to church. I don't mind church so much as long as no one tries to talk to me and smile and shake my hand fakely. I love the feeling of peace when I enter a sanctuary. I love the droning preacher and silent times of prayer. It's the other BS I hate.

Anyway, why is this info in my Fat Blog? Because I feel like this will lend a hand to our mental well being, and this blog focuses on my journey into both physical and mental wellness. I've been neglecting my spiritual body as well as my physical, and though I have many problems with church and Christianity in general, it still invokes the spiritual aspect of myself and forces my focus there on a personal and deep level for a while.

Another physical and mental well-being mechanism: Aydin and I are going to adopt a puppy from a kill shelter today. I've given up my dream of the Catahoula, for fairness towards the largish dog, and decided to go for a smaller house dog that will be suitable for an apartment. When we have our house, land, and horses, we'll get a larger dog. At any rate, we're very excited and have been discussing names. I like Leila. Aydin likes Sam. We both agreed that Mahgeetah was way too far out there.

So... things are looking up and my goals actually seem attainable. Life is good.

Yay! Feelin' Good

2008-10-22T17:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I had a most excellent workout! I did about 35 minutes cardio, and 35 minutes weights. I was so pumped! Aydin had plenty of time to get his homework done, and by the time we were finished, we were both famished. I had an extremely modest meal consisting of lean ham (or was it turkey?) coldcuts, triscuits, romaine lettuce, and a handful of almonds.

Tonight I was supposed to meet a chick who was going to look at my bedroom furniture for purchase, but she didn't even show up! WTH??? Anyway, because of that I was only able to get a 30 min cardio session in, but I'm still famished and admittedly a bit sore.

Wonderful Stephanie had some slow-cooked beef stew (in a wine sauce OMG) for me, so Aydin and I split that for dinner tonight.

I feel so good. I know I'm on track this time - I feel great mentally and physically.

I have a cute black dress, size 4, that I plan to be able to wear in 6 months. I'll hang it on my wall and look at it whenever I'm ready to skip the workout, or go grab that Sonic Blast...

Taking an emotional nosedive...

2008-10-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Mayday! Mayday!! We're going to crash, I repeat, we're going to CRASH! I can't get out of this downward spiral!

I- ..........garble....................garble......static.........garble.....noise.........static...........static............silence.

I really have hit the bottom. I'm no longer spiraling out of control. I've crashed landed into the pit of despair and lard. I see dimpled flesh all around me.

Seriously though. I now weigh more than I have ever in my life, outside of pregnancy.

Admist being sick, depression, PMS, and a... another health problem and then engorging myself for three days at my dad's I have imperiled my entire attempt at a life/body makeover. SOoooo... in true April fashion, I've devised more plans and made myself more promises.

I've also started saying nice things to myself, in the hopes that I will begin to believe it, and then in liking myself more (or at the very least loathing myself less) I will actually stick to my regime.

I plan, for one,to get a puppy. For emotional well being, as well as physical - and Aydin will have a blast and get more exercise as well. And now that I'm physically well (at least no longer ill) I'm going back to my 5 day workout routine, with some modifications.

Monday: Paul will watch Aydin and I will run - goal 2 miles
Tuesday: gym with Aydin, cardio and weights *legs, chest, abs, arms*
Wednesday: Steph will pick up Aydin and I will run - goal 2 miles
Thursday: gym with Aydin, cardio and weights *arms, back, abs*
Friday: gym with Aydin, cardio and weights * legs, chest, back, abs*

Saturday & Sunday: park and/or walks with Aydin and new puppy**...

So these are my plans anyway. I will try to keep up better with progress. Of course, I'm more inclined to blog as long as I am MAKING progress... Meanwhile, I will keep telling myself nice things as I'm digging through my closet for something that fits me for work every morning, through cascading snot and tears...

**new puppy coming soon...